It’s Okay to Say “No”

Do you know a “people pleaser” in your life? Maybe you are one? I’m certainly guilty of being one, and let me tell you:

It sucks.

As a people pleaser, you want people to like you. You don’t want to be viewed in a negative light. So, when someone asks you to do something for them, you say “yes.” You could have reservations about doing it. It could be far outside your comfort zone or even conflict with your plans, but you do it anyway because you don’t want to let anyone down. You want to be dependable, serving, or just plain helpful. Despite how you might feel about it.

Another thing that sucks about being a people pleaser is that some people will take advantage of you. “Oh, Nikki will do this for us, so let’s take it easy, go on this trip, etc.” They don’t consider that maybe you can’t do it. You don’t want to say “no” because then they’ll “be mad at you” if you don’t do it. You think they won’t like you anymore or you’re being selfish for not doing what they ask. But…

It’s okay to say “no.”

It is SO hard to say “no.” Take it from a people pleaser. The very thought of saying “no” stresses you out. It kills your fire and puts you on edge. I’ve had it ruin a beautiful sunrise morning as I drove to work because that’s all I could think about. Saying “no” to someone who asked me to do something for them. I started thinking of excuses. Good reasons as to why I couldn’t do what they asked. Something that would be justifiable and they couldn’t get mad at me for saying “no” because of it. The truth was that I was tired, a little burned out, and overwhelmed. I didn’t want to do what they asked because I needed a break. I needed time for me and with how busy my summer already is, I knew I wasn’t going to get that.

In the end, I told the truth. Then, I stressed about how the recipient thought of me. I don’t exactly trust people. I’ve seen too many two-faced individuals who will smile to your face then talk behind your back. Yet, regardless of how they took my “no.” I’m allowed to care for myself.

So, to all the people pleasers out there, it’s okay to say “no.” You’re not required to say “yes” every time someone asks you to do something. You’re allowed to do what’s best for you, and you shouldn’t feel guilty about it.