Keep Hope Alive

Back in 2021 I had the opportunity to interview Christian author Julie Lessman. She gave me a lot of good advice and I even shared it in a blog post here. After our meeting, she sent me an email full of good resources and advice. Along with it, she sent me an image from her devotional she felt was meant for me. I threw it in my story folder on my phone as a reminder. This is the image:

That was back in 2021. I looked at it a couple times to serve as a reminder that I need help writing my novels. I mean, I went to school for Animal Science, not Creative Writing. Everything I’ve learned, I’ve learned from others or research I’ve done on my own. So, writing a novel is a tall order, but it’s also my passion.

I’ve had a good week in writing recently. Pitched two agents who are interested in my current novel, broke free from writers block in my sequel, and–to top it off–my editor got my current novel back to me with all his feedback. He said he really enjoyed my story and felt my characters were likeable (even the villains)! Plus, he said my main character was easy to be sympathetic toward. All huge victories for a novel.

Then, I got into the edits.

There’s a lot of simple line stuff, and I always forget to put action before dialogue. A lot of easy fixes and he was super helpful picking out the redundancies to help decrease my word count. Yet, there’s always those suggestions that hit you a little hard. Maybe it’s a scene rewrite or it makes you paranoid that you’ll increase your word count instead of decreasing it. Or it’s as simple as something needing to get cut.

When these hard suggestions come my way. I have a five step process I find myself going through.

• Denial
• Anger
• Bargaining
• Depression
• Acceptance

Yup. I did list the five stages of grief. I believe it’s a part of the writing process when you love your novel so much. You start with denial, because somehow you a newbie like you knows better than a professional who’s been in this business for years.

Then, you get a little angry. “I just rewrote that scene! Do you know how long it took me? Now, you want me to do it again? You’re just nit-picking!”

Eventually, you move on to bargaining. “Well, maybe I don’t have to rewrite the whole scene? What if I just threw in a line or two?”

Depression hits hard: “This line or two doesn’t help. My story sucks. No one will ever want to read it.”

Finally, acceptance: “wow, this rewrite does work a lot better than the old one. Huh, look at that! I have a good story!”

It’s a roller coaster of emotions, that’s for sure.

I’d say I’m probably in-between depression and acceptance. I know changes need to be made. I know it’s gonna take a lot of work, but I’m bummed out by it. I’m at the point where doubt starts to creep in. I’ve already lost count of the draft I’m on, and I find myself questioning if it’ll even reach the point where it’s good enough to be published by industry standards. I’m going to make the changes. I’m going to push through and fine tune the story the best I can, but sometimes, you need a confirmation of hope, you know? That your efforts aren’t in vain.

I looked over my editors notes last night, 6/08/2023, and the anxious thoughts of the edits were getting to me. This morning, 6/09, I did my morning devotional in my car before I went into work. This was what it was:

I read that first line and immediately recognized it as the one Julie Lessman sent me in 2021. I’m a Christian. I was honestly looking for hope that day. Waiting for a “right song at the right time” moment from the radio. Something I associated with my story. What I got was much more powerful.

Call it coincidence. Call it faith, but if that’s not a reason to keep hope alive, I don’t know what is.