What song helps you through the tough times? Or is there something else you do to brighten the rough days?
When life gets heavy for me, especially work life, I like to turn on the song I Won’t Give Up by Jason Mraz. The song is meant to be for romantic partners, but I apply it to my work. In case you don’t know, I’m a zookeeper. It’s the best job I’ve ever had, but it can be very hard especially if we have to make certain decisions for our animals.
So, I turn on this song to remind myself that even when the hurt/guilt/feelings of failure etc show up, I won’t give up because I love my job and the animals I care for.
Let’s take a look at the lyrics:
“When I look into your eyes, it’s like watching the night sky or a beautiful sunrise. Well, there’s so much they hold.”
Have you ever looked into the eyes of a one and a half year old monkey? Or a seventy year old tortoise? What about an eager-to-learn leopard? There’s plenty of stars and sunrises in those gazes.
The song continues:
“And just like them old stars, I see that you’ve come so far to be right where you are. How old is your soul?”
Maybe you’ve read some of my previous posts? Maybe you’ve followed my website since the beginning? If that’s the case, you know some of what it took for me to get to being a full time zookeeper. There was a lot of faith involved and taking a risk rather than playing it safe. So many tears were cried before I got here. I’m not going to waste this chance.
Then, the chorus:
“I won’t give up on us. Even if the skies get rough. I’m giving you all my love. I’m still looking up.”
What’s currently going on is hard. There’s a lot of projects to be done. A lot of shifts to cover. We’re tired. We’re a little bitter. There’s discouragement in the day to day, and team members are isolating. Yet, when it all seems so heavy. When the skies look dark from here on out, I choose to not to give up. I choose to focus on making things better for the animals. To believe in hope that things will get better, because I do love what I do.
“And when you’re needing your space to do some navigating, I’ll be here patiently waiting. To see what you find.”
Everyone needs a chance to step back and look at the bigger picture of their life. Animals need a step back from training or change sometimes to see that they’re still in a safe place. The keepers that care for them are still positives in their life. I’m willing to wait for a pausing hoofstock to realize the corridor is safe or a monkey to see that I’m not forcing it to do anything, but encouraging it to participate. I care for my coworkers too and when they need a step back, I want to be someone who steps up for them. I may not always be good at it, but I try.
“Cause even the stars, they burn. Some even fall to the Earth. We’ve got a lot to learn. God knows we’re worth it. I won’t give up.”
We all burn out. We all have animals die. There’s so much to learn about animals, you have to work on everyday. The pain of losing an animal never goes away, and never gets easier. The risk is always there. The regret pounces on you right away, making you think you should’ve done something differently when you did all you could. But, the relationship with the animals. The chances to see them interacting with enrichment, feeling comfortable in their environment, training with them, and seeing them come to you because they trust you. That’s worth it. I like to think that the bigger the heartbreak you have when you lose an animal, then the bigger the difference you had done for that animal. Seeing these animals thrive is worth the difficulties of the job.
“I don’t want to be someone who walks away so easily. I’m here to stay and make the difference that I can make.“
It’s easy to want to look for another job. To see the too many flaws that you believe can’t get fixed. To believe that there’s nothing left a place can teach you. Sometimes, you do have to get out. You have to walk away for your own sake. For your own dreams, but sometimes you can’t. I’m someone who hasn’t been at the same job for over two years. I don’t want to walk away from this one like I did the others, not when I know I can make a difference.
“Our differences, they do a lot to teach us how to use the tools and gifts we got. Yeah, we got a lot at stake.”
No two members on my team are alike. We have a large variety of animals that we care for and each person on the team has their own preference. Some of us can use power tools while others cannot. Some have great maternal instincts with the baby animals while others do not. Some can get a gorilla to shift or have good technology skills. We’re not the same and don’t all think the same way. While the different viewpoints can be beneficial, it can also lead to a lot of conflict of different opinions.
“And, in the end, you’re still my friend. At least, we did intend for us to work. We didn’t break, we didn’t burn. We had to learn how to bend without the world caving in. I had to learn what I got, and what I’m not, and who I am.”
At the end of the day, a good team can go out and hang out despite the conflicts of the day. Raise a toast to an animal lost. Be proud of the work we did. From others, we can learn our own skills. Learn what we can do and what we need help with. Together, make up for each others weaknesses. Realize which direction you want to go.
“I won’t give up on us. Even if the skies get rough. I’m giving you all my love. I’m still looking up. I’m still looking up.”
“I won’t give up on us. God knows I’m tough enough. We got a lot to learn. God knows we’re worth it.”
“I won’t give up on us. Even if the skies get rough. I’m giving you all my love.”
“I’m still looking up.”
nikki diekemper 