Way back in 2010, I started an online writing roleplay based off of a book series I used to read as a kid. The roleplay is still going on, but I take breaks from it every now and then. It’s how I improved a lot of my writing skills. Me and other members would have all our characters interact. We would plan out plots and decide how the story would go together. I learned a lot from it. Got some leadership skills from it too and online friends who don’t go away.
About a year or so after I started the roleplay, I created a special character. Her name was Northstar. She was my “main character” for the roleplay and we went through a lot together. She was brave, kind, and always stood up for what she loved. She faced every challenge with her head held high. She always wanted to be a mother, but never had kids of her own. So, she viewed the characters who followed her as her own children. She had a tragedy beginning of losing her family at a young age and the touch of destiny looming her shoulders. She fell in love once, but lost it pretty quickly. After that, she became independent, never sought out love again because she didn’t need it. She had her family of nonrelatives. Northstar became one of the greatest characters in the role play that even her enemies respected her.
And, on January 4th, 2019 I killed her.
Time progressed faster in the roleplay than it did in real life and, despite all that she went through, age was an enemy she could not defeat. She recognized her time was coming and paved the way for the next generation. As much as I loved, I honored her with a peaceful death. She died peacefully in the gently falling snow, surrounded by those she loved.
I wept.
For almost nine years, Northstar played a part in all the stories I wrote on that roleplay with my friends. Letting her go was harder than I thought. It makes me wonder how many characters out there have broken their author’s hearts when the author finally decides to kill them off and let them rest? I’m sure there’s some authors who don’t care, but we each have a character we hold close to our hearts. I can think of several in my novel, I’d cry for days if I ever become brave enough to give them a glorious death. Sometimes its in letting go that the story can finally move on.
So, here’s to the fifth anniversary of Northstar’s death. She didn’t reach a large audience, but she still made an impact.
nikki diekemper 