Takes Your Time

How do you spend most of your time?

When you’re not working or sleeping, what takes your time? Do you participate in hobbies? Do you work on a dream? Maybe you enjoy watching movies or TV shows at the end of a long day? If you had a page for every day of your life, what would be written on it? Accomplishments achieved? Quality time with loved ones? Maybe it would be a lot of wasted time?

I keep a planner of what I do throughout my day. A quick summary of chores, games, or what I did at work that day. I’ll admit, I don’t feel I’ve been using my time wisely. There’s a lot of movie titles I’ve written down from what I watched or rewatched. I wish there was more writing on there. I wish there was more purpose.

You can’t take back time. So, I hope you’ll join in me in making an effort to be more purposeful with it. I think that will be my New Year’s resolution: to be more purposeful.

Favorite Childhood Movie

What is your favorite childhood movie?

We all have that one movie we adored when growing up. Something we watched time and time again and still feel nostalgic watching it now. For me, it’s The Lion King. It’s still my favorite Disney movie to date. So, when Mufasa; The Lion King came out last month, I had to see it. I did love it.

Everyone has their own reasons for picking their favorite movies. Could be they’re funny, could be a quote or the storyline, could be the characters. There’s a million reasons as to why someone would name a movie their favorite. When I tell people my favorite Disney movie is The Lion King, they’re not surprised. I’m a zookeeper. I love animals. Lions are my second favorite animals. Of course I would love The Lion King. However, there’s also a deeper reason.

Everyone knows the story. Simba is deceived into believing he killed his father and he runs away. He’s trapped by guilt and shame and is afraid to face his family again after what he did. He’s wasted the time it takes for a young lion to grow up by eating bugs and avoiding his troubles. He’s lost his way.

One of the major scenes in the movie is Simba looking up to the clouds and being reminded by Mufasa of who he is. He’s the son of a king and he has a purpose in life. With some sense knocked into him, he goes back home to face his past.

Everyone gets into a dark place. We’re deceived by doubt and shame, and we try to avoid our troubles, and possibly our purpose, when they seem too scary or painful to face. I like to look at The Lion King from a Christian perspective. When we lose our way, sometimes we need to be reminded that we’re the children of the King. We all have purpose and we don’t face anything alone. He lives in us, after all.

“He lives in you,
He lives in me,
He watches over everything we see
Into the water
Into the truth
In your reflection
He lives in you”
~”He Lives in You” song lyrics by Lebo M

Hidden in a Folder

Sixteen years ago I started a folder that ended up expanding to several others. As time went on, the folder got buried and the thoughts inside became redundant. I was flipping through that old folder the other day. I found old drafts and musings, drawings and captions, and ideas I once obsessed over. It was all the start of my novel. The baby pages and cringy grammar. The very first map was paired with the first colors of characters. There’s a list of Latin I never actually used. Symbols of a culture are made out on a page. There’s even a note from a family member suggesting a more durable substance for a weapon I drew.

So much I didn’t remember and so much I see grew. There’s the first draft of victory, written in pencil. With each page I turn, I’m grateful the growth I’ve endured. Yet, I miss the days that this folder is from. Such an obsessive writer that little girl was. She wasn’t plagued by the story measuring up. She wasn’t afraid to get it out there, of all the rejections. She just wrote because wanted to. She wanted a story that grew.

I will say there are some things that shouldn’t come out of this folder. I dropped my jaw at a note that I read. Apparently, one of my characters had a hidden crush. That’s not going to happen, and that’s enough said.

I wonder what other gems are hidden in my folders? What notes can I use? What other pictures did I forget I drew? Maybe there’s something to reignite the passion anew?

An Old Video Game

It’s a curious thought when a memory comes to mind. It lingers and lingers until you give it some time. A childhood game. On an older game system. You decide to dust it off, see if it says “press start to continue.”

You untangle the wires and untangle its kinks. Decide to stock up on the games. You can retry them all, you think. There’s one in particular you hope will start, but it’s so worn out. Scratches keep it dark. Between other games, you try it again and again, hoping for a glimpse of the menu screen again.

Just one more game. I’ll try this one and that one. You rotate the disks, try different stages. Chip the rust off your fingers as you soar through the levels. You’re bound and determined to beat the NPCs, and find the ultimate lifeform makes everything a breeze.

The nostalgia is sweet and you’ve a smile on your lips. You don’t mind the joystick even as your thumb gets sore. It’s worth all the pain to get the high score. Low and behold, it’s suddenly late in the night. You’ve stayed up like you used to and you didn’t even think twice. It’s only when you decide you’re too tired to play–your movements are sloppy, button time is delayed–it’s finally time to hit the sack, else you risk coming in last.

But what a night to carry into dreams.  Stories and memories from too long ago, it seems. A change of pace and a break from the same. That’s what you find in an old video game.

I Saw the Moon

The first day of the new year fell to night. It was one like any other. Errands, chores, and daily tasks. The only difference was the change in weight. A new year. It could bring change for the better or change for the worse. It could bring dreams come true or end with the same sour disappointment.

I looked at the new year with hesitance on its first day. As much as I want to hope, be bold, and expect good things to come, the overshadow of doubt hangs as heavy as the falling night. These were thoughts I reflected as I drove home through a busy city. Bright lights of the highway, dealerships, and other businesses hid the stars that shined overhead. The radio was playing encouraging songs, but my heart was guarded. Why should I shift to be hopeful, bold, and bright when long shadows have haunted me for over a month? What’s the justification of a sudden turn around? The choice to be hopeful? What if this new year has nothing to offer?

I don’t know why I looked. I wasn’t changing lanes. I wasn’t anywhere near by exit, but I turned my head to the horizon on the right. Blocky shapes of businesses and tall streetlights blotted out anything that resembled nature. Yet, in that single moment I looked, framed perfectly by a city skyline was an orange sliver hanging in the sky. So low on the horizon and so dim in color, it should’ve gone unnoticed. Such a thin smile in the night overshadowed by darkness.

It was the moon. A waxing crescent. The first phase right after a new moon.

That single look took my breath away. How fitting, I realized, to see a dim, waxing crescent moon the first night of the new year. It’s light is small, now. Overshadowed by the Earth, It’s barely visible in the lights of the city. Yet, darkness doesn’t consume all of it. The next night, its light will be a little bigger. It’ll continue to grow until it’s a full moon, then all would be able to see it.

I believe that’s what I needed to see that night. No matter how you may view the new year, your light may be small now, but that doesn’t mean it can’t grow. You may be overburdened by doubt and anxiety, but nurture your light and the darkness will not be able to extinguish it.

So, for 2025, I want to be like the waxing moon and grow in Light and grow in hope.

New Year Prayer

I pray for hope for the length of 2025.
I pray for second chances and fulfilled dreams.
May every person find love.
May the light shine in the darkness and the darkness never extinguish it.
May those who are broken, find a hug.
May those who are weeping, find peace to dry their tears.
I pray that the weary find rest, then soar on eagle’s wings.
I pray that the heart of a child would be remembered again.
I pray for linked arms to build each other up,
And that negative words would be banished from tongues.
I pray for hope and optimism.
That life would be seen and beauty rediscovered.
I pray that the medicine of laughter would reach the corners of the Earth.
Let all who wander be found.
Let all who dream never give up.
I pray courage and boldness to all people.
I pray for hearts to be warmed again and selfishness be forgotten.
May 2025 be a year for everyone to grow and be loved.

In Jesus name, I pray.
Amen

2024, A Review

Can you believe it’s almost 2025? And yet, January 2024 feels like forever ago. How’s your year? How are you right now? Are you hopeful? Disheartened? Neutral? Numb? Do you look to the new year with expectations or are you looking at it like it’ll lead to disappointment? Maybe you don’t see anything changing, better or worse.

I honestly, can’t really say how I feel about it myself. I guess I see the new year as the same old same old. I want to be hopeful, you know? Hopeful for big changes, but I was hopeful this year and what I hoped for didn’t happen.

But, what did happen? How was this year good and bad for me and for you?

January–Hunkered down from snow with movies and video games. First time nominated for employee of the month.

February–First time getting COVID. Lost several zoo animals. Finished a D&D campaign.

March–Births and arrivals of new zoo animals. First time going to ComicCon. Start a new D&D campaign. Start caring for gorillas.

April–Cheetahs arrive. Animal intros. Solar Eclipse! Finally bought a couch!

May–Visit a zoo I’ve never been to for a hoof trimming class. New cheetahs on exhibit! Zoo animal births. New family dog!

June–Lake week. Zoo animal losses and births. First time ever stung by a wasp…

July–Family member finishes my novel. Realm Makers Writing Conference!

August–Novel rejections. Tire trouble. Cheetah birthdays. Checked off with Gorillas. Zoo animal intros. Zoo animal births and deaths. ADOPTED A KITTEN!!!

September–Trim an animal’s hooves for the first time. Rent goes up…Zelda Echos of Wisdom released!

October–New RenFair. Advancement interview. Novel rejections.

November–Kitten wins a costume contest! Voluntary cheetah/leopard vaccines! A wedding.

December–Tire trouble. Movie nights. Lanterns. Lots of art. Christmas!

Looking back, I would not describe 2024 as a bad year. There was a lot of new experiences and a lot of good things. I’m thankful for 2024.

Don’t Do This

Don’t let hope die
Don’t let the world win
Don’t tell your dreams goodbye
But find a way to begin again

Don’t let negativity get you down
For there is always a brighter future
Don’t follow the beliefs of the crowd
But find a path that’s newer

What you see before you now
May have a special meaning
You can’t see it somehow
But later will have you believing

Maybe this is a step
To get you where you’re going
Something to help you be prepped
So you enter the future knowing

Knowing your stronger
Than you think you are
To help you handle deeper water
And shoot straight past the stars

So, don’t let hope die
Don’t let the world win
Don’t tell your dreams goodbye
But find a way to begin again

What Matters at Christmas

It’s that time of year again
My head’s all a scatter
What gifts should I give?
Would it even matter?

I look here and I look far
Until I find a decent store
Going everywhere in my car
I think I’ve been here before

Want to give a gift that’s special
Something that says “you matter”
Maybe something sentimental?
One that could truly flatter

You want something really cool
A novelty unforeseen
But you play yourself the fool
When your pockets are empty of green

Your wallet doesn’t abide
So the cool item remains on the shelf
Some Christmas Spirit died
As you silently curse your wealth

You settle for the smaller
A back up idea, and hope
No one will judge your dollar
And you’ll be the only one who mopes

But when the day comes
And lights fill the air
Your heart beats like a drum
Because family is there

What matters at Christmas
Isn’t the dollar or what’s spent
But the joy we get to witness
When everyone’s the present