Happy Mother’s Day!

This weekend is Mother’s Day weekend. I hope you take the time to thank and appreciate the mothers in your life. Being a mom is a hard job. It takes a lot of sacrifices, effort, and love.

So, no matter where you are, I hope you give the mom in your life a call, a hug, a text. Something to reach out and give those hard working moms the appreciation they deserve.

Here’s to all the moms out there. Thank you for everything you do.

Five Reasons to Smile

What are 5 everyday things that bring you happiness?

  1. The Sunrise –Driving to work, I get to watch the sun come up. Whether it’s in spring, summer, winter, or fall, I get to see it peek upon the horizon with it’s dazzling glorious colors. Sometimes, it comes with a storm. Other times, it’s blinding open sky. I love it and the hope of a new day that comes with it.
  2. A Feline Friend –Whether running like a maniac around the apartment or rolling on the floor wanting attention, my little feline friend knows how to put a smile on my face. I’m so thankful for her.
  3. Family –Knowing there’s always someone a phone call away to help you when you’re in trouble or just need to talk.
  4. The moon –A beautiful light in the dark night sky. I’ve loved it since I was really little for more reasons than I can list out.
  5. A bird –Whether it’s a sparrow landing in a puddle nearby to bathe or a titmouse sitting on a birdfeeder. Maybe it’s a happy little red bird that follows you around or cedar waxwing you’d never thought you see. Then, you can’t beat the gasp you get when a bald eagle flies over you. Birds, large or small, bring a brightness to the day that I’ll always appreciate.

A Defeated Feeling

A sure fire way that shoots me down is when technology gets in the way of my writing.

Recently, I had what I thought was a beautiful piece of writing ripped away from me. It was piece about a character who was often depressed because they felt they weren’t contributing enough to the tribe they lived in. I loved it. I loved this character. I put a lot of “me” in it and I was so excited to share it with my friends.

When I hit post, technology crashed. The piece I was working on for two hours disappeared without a trace. Gone. Just like that. At first, it was like my mind glitched. I stared at the screen, trying to fathom that it actually happened. I checked the page, I refreshed, I tried checking my drafts, but it was gone.

My heart broke. I put so much into this piece. I felt the character’s heart could really be heard. The thought of rewriting it crossed my mind, but I don’t remember the words I used. How did I start it? What life events of that character did I cover?

I had to walk away. I had to do something else. I couldn’t get that piece back and I couldn’t spend another two hours trying to write it up again.

This is probably the time I hate technology the most, and this wasn’t the first time it’s done this to me. When it rips away your hard work and leaves you with nothing. It’s hard to get over that defeated feeling.

The Long Game

Playing the long game.
Wondering a simple question.
How long is too long,
In terms of being patient?

Working every day.
Study and try.
Prove you’re reliable.
No matter the time that goes by.

You believe what’s coming
Is what you want to see
You feel it’s in your grasp
It’s finally coming in reach

Then, the day finally comes
It’s hard to believe
Something you wanted
Is right at your feet

You’re nervous at first,
You hope to do right
But a few weeks later
It all changes in a night

A change in policy
A change in the day to day
You can’t stop the tears
As that change takes your dream away

You hear you have a month
And it’ll finally happen
Just one month
To nail down your passion

When it comes down to it
You can’t help but wonder
Why you played the long game
For it to all fell asunder

You find yourself back
To one simple question
How long is too long
In terms of being patient?

How to Do

So many things. How do you get it all done? How do you keep it up without the crash and burn? What you need to do. What you want to do. So, what’s a gal to do?

Make a list. Add both. Vaccum. Clean the fountain. Pay the bill. Paint. Write. Play that video game. What’s most important? What can wait? What can fit in the time you have?

Do one boring thing, then do two fun things. Do two boring things and finish the day with something fun.

Little by little, that list gets done.

And that’s a way to do.

Value

Nothing makes you feel more undervalued then being told you’re replaceable.
Nothing makes you feel smaller than when you’re not included in the big picture.
Nothing makes you feel more like a waste of time then spending hours in traffic.
Nothing makes you feel more useless than realizing the difference you’re not making.

You know you should feel grateful.
You have blessings abound.
Yet, long days are the same time and time again.
They lead to tired minds at the end of it all.
And tired minds believe you haven’t done enough work.
If you haven’t done enough work, you know you’re not completing tasks.
Without those tasks completed, you’re not making any achievements.
And no achievements means you contribute nothing.

When one part of your life drains your passion for another.
When it marks down your value, you see your value down across the board.
How do you find the balance?
Exhaust yourself here leaves no energy for there.
Suddenly, your life is just one thing.
And everything you used to fill it with fades like mist.
One day, you’ll look back and wonder what happened?
What happened to the hobbies? The passion? The creativity?
That one thing dominated it all.

Try to find the balance.
You’re value is more than that one thing.

A Prayer

Holy are you, Lord God, Father of Heaven, Author of Life.
Your ways are good, pleasing and perfect.
Your plans provide a future and a hope.
I thank you for all you’ve given me.
And how far you’ve helped me come.
Thank you for my family and the little blessings everyday.
Thank you for your that light shines in the darkness
And the darkness can never extinguish it.
So let your light shine upon my fear, my sorrows, and my doubt.
Let your light reveal truth.
Be my rock, my fortress, and my savior.
My rock in whom I find protection
Be my shield, the power that saves me, and my place of safety.
Safety from the shame and fears that haunt me.
For your mercies are new every morning.
Lord, renew my hope and spirit.
Grant me one of power, love, and self-discipline.
For if you be for me, who can be against me?
Put the words in my heart to honor you.
I place my dream in your hands.
For apart from you, I can do nothing.
Your will be done.
Your timing is perfect.
Reignite the fires you placed in me.
Let all doubt be cast to the sea.
In Jesus name, I pray,
Amen

Love of a Cat

I love you so much
Though you’re just a little ball of fur
You always make me smile,
Every time you purr

The morning starts
With you waking me up
Your meows won’t cease
Until I fill your cup

You take a few bites
Then we run around and play
Hiding behind your toys
You could pounce on things all day

When I have to go to work
You hang out by yourself
I always wonder what you’re up to
When everything’s knocked over on itself

Yet, when I come home
You’re right there at the door
You try to get your love in
While rolling around on the floor

These special moments
That I have with you
Remind me I’m okay
And whisk away my blue

If you keep purring
While coming to me
Keep pouncing and chasing
And kneading your paws on me

Then I know I’m doing something right
By one animal on this earth
The days you’re by my side
My heart is filled with mirth

Enough

This to do and that to complete

Read that update, every day repeat

Same things to clean

Little time for projects

Now work where you know little of the subject

Everyday the pressure is on

You have to work hard.

You have to measure up

You can’t let anyone know you’re not enough

Yet, the mist glows like silver upon the lake

The eagle flies over, calm winds in it’s wake

There’s a deer grazing just off the path

And the spring flowers wave to say it’s okay to relax.

Just a moment with nature

A moment to see the truth

That’s all it takes to help you feel new.

So when life gets busy and tasks pile up

Take a moment to breath and remember

You’re enough

Oh, THAT Question

Daily writing prompt
Where do you see yourself in 10 years?

If you don’t hear this question in school, you hear it at work. Maybe you hear it from your family. Regardless, we all hear this question. What do you want to do in ten years? Where do you want to be? What kind of person do you want to be? It’s to prompt you to plan for the future. Have goals. Give yourself a purpose. I was recently asked this, and…

Honestly? I hate this question.

While I understand the prompting and purpose of this question, I don’t want to think about where I’ll be in ten years. Why? Because, a lot can happen in ten years. I could change jobs. I could move cities or states. I could get sick or suffer an accident or even be dead. The future cannot be planned for, so I want my focus on the now. Yes. I do have dreams that I hope to come true in the next ten years, but the timing isn’t mine to decide. I can only make things happen a day at a time. I don’t do well under time limits anyway.

Another reason as to why I’m not a big fan of this question is because I was asked it throughout school. In elementary school, they ask you want you want to be and help you make a plan, same with middle school and high school. My answer was always: vet school. I was going to grow up and become a veterinarian. I remember in middle grade, my class was assigned to write a poem about where we’d be in five to ten years and my poem had me working as a vet tech at an animal hospital as I was trying to make my way through vet school.

Even in college I planned on vet school. All my classes were geared toward it. My clubs were focused on it. I was even at the point of figuring out the steps and funds I’d need to get into the vet school at my college. I remember how anxious I was about the whole process. I wasn’t excited. I wasn’t inspired. I wasn’t ready for the challenge. I was scared and I was keeping the prospect of vet school at arm’s length.

My last semester of getting my bachelor’s degree, I made the decision not to go to vet school. It was a huge weight off my chest, but I no longer had a plan. All those times I answered that ten year question with vet school, now I had to figure out what I was going to do next.

Ten years ago, I was finishing up my associates degree and planning on moving to a bigger college to get into their pre-vet program. Now, I’m a zookeeper.