Odd One Out

Tell us about a time when you felt out of place.

Does all the time count?

I consider myself a socially awkward person. I’m more comfortable alone than in a group of people, and it’s hard for me to break out of my comfort zone. Which makes it hard to connect with people. When I spend time alone, then eventually do join the group, I feel awkward because I missed out on whatever the group’s already been doing. My connection to each group member isn’t as strong as their connections to each other. It’s to no fault of them. It’s just how I’m wired. I’m used to being the “quiet one” who doesn’t have much to say.

When I am with the group, I struggle to know what to talk about. I give short and sweet “small talk” answers because that’s what most people want to hear. It’s also difficult because I have a bunch of mental filters that my words have to go through before they even pass my lips. Is what I’m going to say socially acceptable? Is it kind? Is it relevant to the person I’m talking to? Will the person I’m talking to care about what I’m saying or will they think me weird for it? These “small talk” habits and filters have become so automatic, that I’m still learning how to give longer, deeper responses, because anything past the surface is terrifying.

You could definitely say that I’m a people pleaser and I’d rather people not know anything about me than find out something that they’d turn their nose up at.

But, I’m trying. I’m trying to catch myself before the automatic response kicks in so I can give a proper answer to whoever I’m talking to. And, I’m trying to give some of the filters a rest. Be more myself without caring what others think.

If you relate to any of this. I hope this encourages you knowing you’re not alone in feeling like the odd one out or out of place. If I can feel more comfortable being me, then I know you can overcome the challenge of feeling more comfortable being you.

You’re a unique and intriguing person with your likes, skills, dislikes, and lifestyle. Don’t subdue that because you’re afraid of what people think.