Fear Says

Fear says you’re not good enough when you do your best every day.
Fear says you’ll lose your job when they have no reason to let you go.
Fear says no one likes you when people seek you out to have a conversation.
Fear says you’re always alone when family stands by to help you.
Fear says you’ll never succeed when you can make progress every day.
Fear says you’ll never amount to anything when everyone has a purpose.
Fear says people can’t be trusted when they’re being sincere to your face.
Fear says your a terrible person when you try to make up for your mistakes.

What fear often says is a lie in the face of truth.
Just enough to cause you to doubt everything you do.
It steals your potential, your joy, and your peace.
Be warned to not let fear command you, but let it stay under your feet.
Hold tight to truth. Don’t give into fear.
What it says should never be welcome here.

An Old School Notebook

Back when I was in middle school, I had this cool school notebook with multicolored wavy lines. I decided back then, that I would fill the notebook with animal facts. I started with facts on cheetahs. Then, I used it for class when studying a disease. Beyond that, the pages had facts about broken bones in different species, what a gizzard is, how fast blood clots. It was going to be a medical notebook for when I went into vet school. I filled a little more throughout middle school, but by the time I reached high school, I stopped filling out the notebook.

During my last semester of college, I decided to not go to vet school. That notebook remained forgotten on a shelf for a while. However, come 2019, I started volunteering at my local zoo. I found that notebook and I started writing animal facts on them. Facts about Lappet-faced vultures, marbled and blue-billed teals. This notebook had life again.

Then covid hit. I couldn’t get back into the zoo. The notebook was doomed back to a shelf. Barely twenty of it’s pages were filled out. It started to look like it would never reach it’s goal of being filled with animal facts.

Come 2022, I got lucky and was rehired at the zoo. I was informed that certain online classes were highly encouraged–especially if keepers wanted to advance. These classes ranged from a variety of different zoo-related topics: animal husbandry, animal behavior, reptiles, operant conditioning, big cats, animal nutrition and many more. My notebook found new life again.

In 2025, it fulfilled the dream of the young middle schooler. It’s pages though smudged, ripped, bent, and beaten, are full of animal facts.

Now, a new notebook can take it’s place and that original one can sit on the shelf, fulfilled and ready whenever it’s needed again.

Win Anyway

Recently, I’ve been getting back into playing a game called Hyrule Warriors specifically the definitive edition. It’s a Zelda game where you are a part of an army fighting for your kingdom (or against the kingdom) by beating back the opposing army. You can take bases, defeat captains, and more depending on your mission. I enjoy the game because it’s a montage of all my favorite Zelda characters and I enjoy the different strategies you have to think of in order to win.

One of the storyline missions I recently played required seizing the Palace of Twilight. Whenever you advance, your enemy tries to halt your course whether by trapping you so you have to find a specific item to get out or sending assault troops to take your bases or capture your allies. It often feels like there’s a lot of chaos on the map at all times. You can’t be everywhere at once so you have to decide what’s most important. Do you save your ally? Take that base? Stay and defend your keep? Meanwhile, the characters are having dialogue at the bottom of the screen, and some of it tells you how to move on, so while you’re in the middle of handle the mess, you have to pay attention to what your allies are saying to each other.

I get so far into the mission that my army covers the entire map except for enemy base. The leader of the enemy army gets desperate. He summons a dragon and while my allies and I are taking care of the dragon, he decides to come out of his base and join the fighting.

I used to play this game a lot when it first came out on the Wii-U game system. I know how the characters fight. I know how to beat the dragon and the other bosses in the game. Starting over, all my fighters reset to level 1. Their power isn’t that strong. Defeating the dragon was taking a while. Then, this enemy commander arrives and starts poking at me with his swords. With my focus on the dragon, he’s able to mess up my combos. He was quickly becoming a nuisance.

This was the final mission of the map. Defeat the dragon and defeat the enemy commander in their last desperate attempt to beat you. I knew I was going to win. I knew it was just a matter of time, but this enemy commander poking into the fight with the dragon was beyond getting on my nerves. I had to switch tactics. Stick to short and sweet attacks–which only made the fight take longer–but at least I was making more progress then starting a combo only for it to get cut short.

Eventually, I beat the dragon and the fight with the commander ended quickly after that. It was a victory. The result I expected, and yet, I still got mad going through the mission.

It made me wonder how many little things in life do we get mad or annoyed with when we know the outcome anyway? Say you’re on track for a promotion. You know you’re going to get it, but these little things pop up that you have to take care of first. Maybe you have to interview? Maybe you’re in line for a job and they make you go through the process anyway? Maybe there’s a dream that you know you’ll accomplish, but the road to it is filled with potholes and rocky hills before you finally get there.

How many times do we go through life knowing how it’s going to end, knowing we’ll have victory, and yet we still let the little things get to us. We let them poke at our side until we’re so annoyed we want to pound them into the dirt.

I believe there’s victory for us at the end of this long battle of life. We just have to remember it.

Because, when you know you’re going to win anyway, life can be easier to handle.

Take a Breath

What’s one small improvement you can make in your life?

Take a deep breath. Refuse to ponder what could be. What might happen. Don’t entertain the uncertainty. A rumor here. A comment there. Take a breath and let it go out your ears.

There’s no need to worry. There’s no need to fret. Be patient in the timing. He’s not done with you yet.

So when the questions arise and the future feels shaken. Take a deep breath. Choose not to fear again and again.

Take a deep breath. Let the worries slip off your shoulders. Choose not to worry about what you cannot control. Trust it’ll work out. You know who’s in control.

Take a deep breath. Refuse to fear. The future is in the hands of one who holds you near.

Happy Mother’s Day!

This weekend is Mother’s Day weekend. I hope you take the time to thank and appreciate the mothers in your life. Being a mom is a hard job. It takes a lot of sacrifices, effort, and love.

So, no matter where you are, I hope you give the mom in your life a call, a hug, a text. Something to reach out and give those hard working moms the appreciation they deserve.

Here’s to all the moms out there. Thank you for everything you do.

Five Reasons to Smile

What are 5 everyday things that bring you happiness?

  1. The Sunrise –Driving to work, I get to watch the sun come up. Whether it’s in spring, summer, winter, or fall, I get to see it peek upon the horizon with it’s dazzling glorious colors. Sometimes, it comes with a storm. Other times, it’s blinding open sky. I love it and the hope of a new day that comes with it.
  2. A Feline Friend –Whether running like a maniac around the apartment or rolling on the floor wanting attention, my little feline friend knows how to put a smile on my face. I’m so thankful for her.
  3. Family –Knowing there’s always someone a phone call away to help you when you’re in trouble or just need to talk.
  4. The moon –A beautiful light in the dark night sky. I’ve loved it since I was really little for more reasons than I can list out.
  5. A bird –Whether it’s a sparrow landing in a puddle nearby to bathe or a titmouse sitting on a birdfeeder. Maybe it’s a happy little red bird that follows you around or cedar waxwing you’d never thought you see. Then, you can’t beat the gasp you get when a bald eagle flies over you. Birds, large or small, bring a brightness to the day that I’ll always appreciate.

A Defeated Feeling

A sure fire way that shoots me down is when technology gets in the way of my writing.

Recently, I had what I thought was a beautiful piece of writing ripped away from me. It was piece about a character who was often depressed because they felt they weren’t contributing enough to the tribe they lived in. I loved it. I loved this character. I put a lot of “me” in it and I was so excited to share it with my friends.

When I hit post, technology crashed. The piece I was working on for two hours disappeared without a trace. Gone. Just like that. At first, it was like my mind glitched. I stared at the screen, trying to fathom that it actually happened. I checked the page, I refreshed, I tried checking my drafts, but it was gone.

My heart broke. I put so much into this piece. I felt the character’s heart could really be heard. The thought of rewriting it crossed my mind, but I don’t remember the words I used. How did I start it? What life events of that character did I cover?

I had to walk away. I had to do something else. I couldn’t get that piece back and I couldn’t spend another two hours trying to write it up again.

This is probably the time I hate technology the most, and this wasn’t the first time it’s done this to me. When it rips away your hard work and leaves you with nothing. It’s hard to get over that defeated feeling.

The Long Game

Playing the long game.
Wondering a simple question.
How long is too long,
In terms of being patient?

Working every day.
Study and try.
Prove you’re reliable.
No matter the time that goes by.

You believe what’s coming
Is what you want to see
You feel it’s in your grasp
It’s finally coming in reach

Then, the day finally comes
It’s hard to believe
Something you wanted
Is right at your feet

You’re nervous at first,
You hope to do right
But a few weeks later
It all changes in a night

A change in policy
A change in the day to day
You can’t stop the tears
As that change takes your dream away

You hear you have a month
And it’ll finally happen
Just one month
To nail down your passion

When it comes down to it
You can’t help but wonder
Why you played the long game
For it to all fell asunder

You find yourself back
To one simple question
How long is too long
In terms of being patient?

How to Do

So many things. How do you get it all done? How do you keep it up without the crash and burn? What you need to do. What you want to do. So, what’s a gal to do?

Make a list. Add both. Vaccum. Clean the fountain. Pay the bill. Paint. Write. Play that video game. What’s most important? What can wait? What can fit in the time you have?

Do one boring thing, then do two fun things. Do two boring things and finish the day with something fun.

Little by little, that list gets done.

And that’s a way to do.

Value

Nothing makes you feel more undervalued then being told you’re replaceable.
Nothing makes you feel smaller than when you’re not included in the big picture.
Nothing makes you feel more like a waste of time then spending hours in traffic.
Nothing makes you feel more useless than realizing the difference you’re not making.

You know you should feel grateful.
You have blessings abound.
Yet, long days are the same time and time again.
They lead to tired minds at the end of it all.
And tired minds believe you haven’t done enough work.
If you haven’t done enough work, you know you’re not completing tasks.
Without those tasks completed, you’re not making any achievements.
And no achievements means you contribute nothing.

When one part of your life drains your passion for another.
When it marks down your value, you see your value down across the board.
How do you find the balance?
Exhaust yourself here leaves no energy for there.
Suddenly, your life is just one thing.
And everything you used to fill it with fades like mist.
One day, you’ll look back and wonder what happened?
What happened to the hobbies? The passion? The creativity?
That one thing dominated it all.

Try to find the balance.
You’re value is more than that one thing.