What song helps you through the tough times? Or is there something else you do to brighten the rough days?

When life gets heavy for me, especially work life, I like to turn on the song I Won’t Give Up by Jason Mraz. The song is meant to be for romantic partners, but I apply it to my work. In case you don’t know, I’m a zookeeper. It’s the best job I’ve ever had, but it can be very hard especially if we have to make certain decisions for our animals.

So, I turn on this song to remind myself that even when the hurt/guilt/feelings of failure etc show up, I won’t give up because I love my job and the animals I care for.

Let’s take a look at the lyrics:

“When I look into your eyes, it’s like watching the night sky or a beautiful sunrise. Well, there’s so much they hold.”

Have you ever looked into the eyes of a one and a half year old monkey? Or a seventy year old tortoise? What about an eager-to-learn leopard? There’s plenty of stars and sunrises in those gazes.

The song continues:

“And just like them old stars, I see that you’ve come so far to be right where you are. How old is your soul?”

Maybe you’ve read some of my previous posts? Maybe you’ve followed my website since the beginning? If that’s the case, you know some of what it took for me to get to being a full time zookeeper. There was a lot of faith involved and taking a risk rather than playing it safe. So many tears were cried before I got here. I’m not going to waste this chance.

Then, the chorus:

“I won’t give up on us. Even if the skies get rough. I’m giving you all my love. I’m still looking up.”

What’s currently going on is hard. There’s a lot of projects to be done. A lot of shifts to cover. We’re tired. We’re a little bitter. There’s discouragement in the day to day, and team members are isolating. Yet, when it all seems so heavy. When the skies look dark from here on out, I choose to not to give up. I choose to focus on making things better for the animals. To believe in hope that things will get better, because I do love what I do.

“And when you’re needing your space to do some navigating, I’ll be here patiently waiting. To see what you find.”

Everyone needs a chance to step back and look at the bigger picture of their life. Animals need a step back from training or change sometimes to see that they’re still in a safe place. The keepers that care for them are still positives in their life. I’m willing to wait for a pausing hoofstock to realize the corridor is safe or a monkey to see that I’m not forcing it to do anything, but encouraging it to participate. I care for my coworkers too and when they need a step back, I want to be someone who steps up for them. I may not always be good at it, but I try.

“Cause even the stars, they burn. Some even fall to the Earth. We’ve got a lot to learn. God knows we’re worth it. I won’t give up.”

We all burn out. We all have animals die. There’s so much to learn about animals, you have to work on everyday. The pain of losing an animal never goes away, and never gets easier. The risk is always there. The regret pounces on you right away, making you think you should’ve done something differently when you did all you could. But, the relationship with the animals. The chances to see them interacting with enrichment, feeling comfortable in their environment, training with them, and seeing them come to you because they trust you. That’s worth it. I like to think that the bigger the heartbreak you have when you lose an animal, then the bigger the difference you had done for that animal. Seeing these animals thrive is worth the difficulties of the job.

“I don’t want to be someone who walks away so easily. I’m here to stay and make the difference that I can make.“

It’s easy to want to look for another job. To see the too many flaws that you believe can’t get fixed. To believe that there’s nothing left a place can teach you. Sometimes, you do have to get out. You have to walk away for your own sake. For your own dreams, but sometimes you can’t. I’m someone who hasn’t been at the same job for over two years. I don’t want to walk away from this one like I did the others, not when I know I can make a difference.

“Our differences, they do a lot to teach us how to use the tools and gifts we got. Yeah, we got a lot at stake.”

No two members on my team are alike. We have a large variety of animals that we care for and each person on the team has their own preference. Some of us can use power tools while others cannot. Some have great maternal instincts with the baby animals while others do not. Some can get a gorilla to shift or have good technology skills. We’re not the same and don’t all think the same way. While the different viewpoints can be beneficial, it can also lead to a lot of conflict of different opinions.

“And, in the end, you’re still my friend. At least, we did intend for us to work. We didn’t break, we didn’t burn. We had to learn how to bend without the world caving in. I had to learn what I got, and what I’m not, and who I am.”

At the end of the day, a good team can go out and hang out despite the conflicts of the day. Raise a toast to an animal lost. Be proud of the work we did. From others, we can learn our own skills. Learn what we can do and what we need help with. Together, make up for each others weaknesses. Realize which direction you want to go.

“I won’t give up on us. Even if the skies get rough. I’m giving you all my love. I’m still looking up. I’m still looking up.”

“I won’t give up on us. God knows I’m tough enough. We got a lot to learn. God knows we’re worth it.”

“I won’t give up on us. Even if the skies get rough. I’m giving you all my love.”

“I’m still looking up.”

I can’t believe it’s already that time of year again where I have to evaluate my performance at work. Do you have to do that at your work? Maybe you have to do an evaluation for a class? A project? Maybe you don’t have to worry about these evaluations anymore (lucky you).

I gripe and groan about evaluations because I’m terrible at them. I think they’re worse than interviews. I’ve gained experience doing plenty of interviews, they’re not so frightening anymore. And, if you screw up in an interview, you never have to see the other person again. In a performance review, you see the people reviewing you every day.

So, in the spirit of these reviews. How about we take the time to review ourselves? Take a reflection on everything you did this year. Whether at home, work, or other. How would you score yourself in the categories I listed below? All on a scale of 1 to 5. 1 being the worst and 5 being the best.

1. Communication
   Have you been doing a good job reaching out to friends and family? Communicating your wants and needs, and listening to others as well?
2. Work Ethic and Dependability
   Are you doing your best everyday?
   When you said you’ll do something, do you get it done?
   When someone needs help, do you step up?
3. Empathy and Professionalism
   Do you take time to consider others?
   See things from different perspectives?
   Do you pay attention to how you act and react to situations?
4. Judgement, Honesty, and Integrity
   Are you quick to judge someone for a mistake?
   How do you handle judgement?
   How do you judge difficult situations?
   Have you been owning up to your mistakes?
   Are you honest about your feelings?
   When you catch a bad situation, how do you react?
   How often do you do what’s right?
   Are you being honest about this self-evaluation?
5. Self Evaluation
   What’s important to you when it comes to feedback?
   What have you accomplished this year?
   What have you learned?
   How are you getting along with the people in your life?
   Where would you like to improve?
   What would you change if you could?

It’s so easy to want to say everything is fine. You’re doing great. You deserve all the best scores, but here’s your chance–with no one else around–to take a good look at yourself and determine how you can do better.

No matter where you go, you’re going to run into a rumor mill. Whether work, school, large families, or neighborhood communities. You can probably think of one place you know you’ll find a rumor or gossip mill in your life. It’s a place with no definitive location, but you can walk in any time. It can start off innocent. You walk in looking for updates of what’s going on with your company, school work, family plans etc. However, if you’re not careful, it can turn into gossip.

Gossip is the causal conversations about other people typically involving details that may or may not be true. Gossip is going behind someone’s back. It’s an act of hate, not love. It’s negative, downgrading, and not easily stopped.

I’ve had my fair share of conversations where someone tells me something bad about someone else. I’m not perfect myself. I have my ranting days, but I want to do better, and I have my own experience to thank for that. I hate to say it, but when someone talks bad about someone to me, I lose a little trust in the person saying these bad things. If they’re willing to talk bad about somebody else to me then who’s to say they aren’t talking bad about me to others? I want to be a trustworthy person, and I can’t be that if I talk bad about others.

On the radio the other day, I heard about this cool thing called “Reverse Gossip.” It’s an act where you’re still talking about someone behind their back. However, instead of the negatives, you talk about their strengths and accomplishments. You talk about everything you like about someone.

Wouldn’t it be cool if the Rumor or Gossip Mills in our workplaces, schools, families, etc. turned into Reverse Gossip Mills? Imagine how encouraging things would get. Instead of someone being ridiculed for forgetting something or making a mistake, they’re cheered for their skills and contribution. Celebrated for who they are and given grace for what doesn’t measure up in our eyes.

I dare you to check yourself this week. Whenever you find negative words coming out of your lips, clamp your mouth shut. Try to think of something encouraging to say instead. And, if someone comes up to you wanting to gossip, change the subject. Stand against gossip and go into reserve.

 Fire goes out without wood, and quarrels disappear when gossip stops.

Proverbs 26:20