A funny thing happened to me this week. I got accused of being too hopeful. Now, if you know me. You’ll know I’m a stressor, a worrywart, and an anxious bundle of curly hair that doesn’t like change. Yet, I was driving with a coworker the other day and we were talking work stuff. There’s a lot of things up in the air at my work. A great potential for a lot of change that it has some people on edge. Every workplace has a rumor mill and mine is no different. People talk because they want to understand what’s going to happen. Who’s going to stick around. What challenges are we going to face? They want to be prepared for what comes our way. Sometimes, its the only thing people talk about.

Then there’s me.

The way I see it, I just got full time, I’m not going anywhere. Things are changing and I can’t stop them. All I can do is roll with them and take them a day at a time. The team I’m a part of proved just yesterday that we can handle ourselves. We may not have all the answers in the moment, but we get stuff done.

I was impressed with the way things worked out yesterday and proud of the team as well. We got our animal routines done early and that left the afternoon open for projects. Yet, before we could head off, someone pips up with an “Oh…guys…we’re supposed to do this task (that everyone forgot about) today.” We had to do it that day because that’s when forklift guy said he could help us. The task was to retrieve a really heavy thing from one building and move it to another so it could be used there.

We got to work. Someone called forklift guy to make sure he could help us. We had to go into another animal team’s area, so I called them to make sure it was alright for us to come down–they were thrilled. They wanted the heavy thing gone from their building. Then we realized the truck we currently have wasn’t going to handle the heavy thing, so we needed to needed to see if a loaner truck was available. It worked out because the team that was using the loaner truck was driving it up to drop it off when we called them.

So, we had the forklift guy on the way, the other animal team notified, and the truck that we needed. We loaded up and escorted ourselves through the zoo to pick up the heavy thing. The other animal team had our object ready to go when we arrived. We got the truck in place. Forklift guy moved the object to the truck, we secured it, and the other animal team waved goodbye and told us to never bring that object back to their area as we drove away.

We got the heavy thing in place at one of our buildings just in time for closing.

What may happen in the next few days, weeks, or months may be completely up in the air. We could lose team members. Routines may change. Dynamics could shift. It could very well be a difficult transition. Yet, I think about days like yesterday how we handled a task we forgot about and how everything fell into place for us to get that task done. It all worked out and we worked well together.

I guess that’s one of the reasons why I’m hopeful moving forward. No matter the changes, I’m sure everything will be alright. We can take it a day at a time and handle the changes as they come up, because we’re capable. There’s no use stressing over it, after all, when all you can control is you.

I hope you find yourself guilty of being too hopeful moving forward. It’s a good way to stand out.

I’ve been playing a game called The Elder Scrolls; Skyrim recently. I’ve played it before, started quite a few run throughs. Finished only a couple–but, I’m sure I missed quite a few quests. The game is very big and very popular. It’s a fantasy game with dragons, elves, orcs, jarls, trolls, werewolves, and vampires. I thoroughly enjoy it.

I’m always a khajit (cat-folk person) when I play the game. My favorite way to play is as the ever popular stealth archer. I’m always a werewolf, because I hate vampires, and I always die the most by falling off something (it doesn’t matter the game. If it’s free-roaming, I’m going to die by fall damage…a lot).

This particular playthrough, I’m enjoying the moral dilemmas in the game. Skyrim has the opportunity for you to obtain some pretty powerful items, but to get them you have to do some things you would never do in the real world.

For instance, one quest that didn’t sit right with me was given to me by a priest who looked after the dead in one of the cities. He claims he’s been finding bite marks in them. Human bite marks. When you investigate, you meet a leader of a group of cannibals. I followed the instructions of the quest to complete it. You end up helping the cannibal clear zombies out of their lair for the exchange for them leaving the bodies the priest looks after alone. I try to keep my character neutral in all things. She doesn’t take one side or the other because she’s a khajit, and khajit are looked down on in the game. So, when this cannibal leader just wanted their lair cleared out, I thought “fine. I’m still getting the priest’s quest done. Cannibals aren’t going to dishonor the dead anymore.”

Then, the cannibal leader pushed too far.

In celebration for getting their lair cleared, the leader wanted to throw a feast. Not just any feast. A cannibalistic feast, and she wanted the priest to be the main course.

At this point, the game doesn’t give you an option. You have to go get the priest or you have an unfinished quest sitting in your inventory. So, I went and got the guy just to see what would happen. I brought him to the cannibal lair and there were a lot more cannibals then just the leader. They were all sitting at this long table, waiting for the feast to commence. The cannibal leader walks up to you as you arrive and entices the priest to join them for a meal. This is where my stomach curled. The leader easily convinces the priest to lay down on this table for nap like they had some sort of spell on him. Once he’s asleep, the leader turns to me, the player, and says I should be the one to carve the turkey for the feast.

Several alarms went off in my head at this point.

To finish the quest, you have to kill the guy. You have to become a cannibal and doing so gives you a ring that can be beneficial in tight spots in the game. I felt stuck between a rock and a hard place. You can’t just walk out, because the cannibals would kill the priest anyway. I may be a werewolf, but when I maul someone as a werewolf, they’re always fighting back. Not laying on a table unaware they’re about to become dinner. Killing this priest and becoming a cannibal was definitely something I didn’t want, and its a good thing I don’t care about achievements.

I turned the blade the cannibals wanted me to use on the priest on the cannibals. I was outnumbered. There was magical fire, arrows, steel, and curses flying throughout the feasting room. The chaos lasted only a few seconds and all the cannibals laid dead on the floor. I received the notification that I failed the quest, but the priest woke up.

Like anyone would be, he was frightened after what happened and appreciative. He gave me a lump sum of gold for saving his life. Honestly, I prefer that over a ring I’ll never use. He heads off to return to the city and I let him go. Because I’m a greedy, little thief, I start looting the cannibal bodies, and I realize something else disturbing.

All the cannibals have names. In Skyrim, if a character has a name, they typically have a purpose, and when I start rummaging through their pockets, I start realizing their purposes.

They’re citizens of the city the priest is from.

One is a stable worker. Another is a shopkeeper I bartered with. In one form or another, they’re regular people you wouldn’t expect to be a cannibal. It was a chilling thought.

This is the stuff I’m enjoying through my most recent playthrough. The moral dilemmas, the grey areas, and the right vs. wrong choices. Yeah, I’m failing some quests and not getting the special artifacts, but I know I’m not going to use a lot of these artifacts and I’m more proud of the fact that I ended the cannibal plague on a city or spared the werewolf or stayed true to the friends my character’s made along the way.

If you ever find yourself playing Skyrim, I dare you to look beyond the quest instructions and make your own choices. You might surprise yourself by the actions you take.

Are you a long time planner? Someone who has the next five to ten years all planned out? You have your goals and milestones. You’re going to reach this position at this time or accomplish this task in just a few months?

I have goals that I’m trying to reach. A few small ones, some major ones that I’ll pursue as long as it takes. Yet, as much as I would love all of it to happen now. Accomplish all my dreams in this moment, sometimes you just have to wait. Timing is very important. If you jump the gun on a dream before you or the world is ready, it’s going to fall through, but what happens when one of your dreams comes true? The next step in your plan is checked off the list?

We all want that. Check a dream off our list. Be proud and say “we did this!” I hope when that time comes for you, you enjoy it. Its so easy to look at our dreams, look at our accomplishments, and then immediately go to the next thing on the list. “Alright, I made it here, now I want to go there.”

Others will ask you that too. If you tell them your recent victory, some say: “Congrats! Now when are you doing to do this?” As if your one victory isn’t enough. You have to keep pushing forward and not stop and enjoy the moment.

When you accomplish something. When you make that dream come true. Whether its getting the dream job, dream house, book published, item obtained, place traveled, dream vacation, or anything that’s on your list. I hope you stop and enjoy the moment. Enjoy the victory. You did it. You’re here. So, make the best of where you are and don’t blind yourself with what’s next.

So, no matter your plans. Remember to appreciate where you are.

You’re doing great.
You deserve to enjoy your victory.