I have magic soap that washes tears away. One swipe and rivers cease and dawn will break to a joyful morning. My magic soap eases your fears. It frees your lungs to take a big breath of air. The reason behind the pain is put at a distance so you can see the big picture, the beauty you hindered. My magic soap makes things right and dries all your tears throughout the night. It welcomes the settling of peace and allows you to drift to sleep. Just one drop and 100 tears go away. One drop keeps the darkness at bay. My magic soap allows you to feel. It’s a shame, though, that it isn’t real.
A Day at the Zoo
This past week, I got the wonderful opportunity to take myself to my local zoo. It was definitely a much needed time away and people watching is always a blast. The day I went was actually the nicest day weather wise. Many moms took their children and the zoo was busier than I expected. I’m glad they were getting a lot of local support.
There’s a lot of controversy when it comes to zoos. A lot of people don’t like the animals in cages or the enclosures really need work. I, for one, support zoos. I used to work at one. I saw how deeply the keepers care for their animals. Yes, the zoo I worked at had enclosures that were screaming for help, but the keepers do their best to make improvements and every time you go to a zoo, pay for a ticket, buy food, or ride the tram, you’re helping to improve those enclosures and make the zoo a better place for the animals.
During my day at the zoo, I made a lot of observations about animals and people alike. My local zoo has a lot of signs talking about the animals: species, diet, origin, habitat, and more. They even have signs dedicated to conservation telling how many are left in the wild, where they are on the endangered list, what’s being done to help them, and what visitors could do to help them. I stopped and read a lot of the different signs. I don’t remember what all of them said, but I remember being heartbroken when I realized that most of the species I looked at were critically endangered. Efforts are being done to save them, but if you have a favorite species, I recommend contributing how you can.
One observation I had at the zoo this week was how little people read the signs my zoo had in place. There were families who passed by entire exhibits and animals without taking a glance. Families take their kids to the zoo for a learning experience, but from what I saw, people were only there to look and pass by. An “okay, we saw it. Now, let’s move on.” Yeah. A lot of zoos have a lot of ground to cover and you can’t appreciate all the animals in one day, but if you slow down and take the time to learn about what you’re seeing, you gain a new appreciation for for the wonders of the world. Taking a day to learn about a few animals makes them easier to remember. Then, you can go the next day to learn about more. I didn’t make it to every area of my zoo this week. I ended up picking out my favorite animals and hitting up the keeper chats about them. I thought I knew a lot my favorite species, but from those chats I learned a lot more.
I wish I could properly write everything that I learned. I wish I could print out this fantastic article that teaches you all about the different species at the zoo, but what better way to learn about the zoo than by going yourself? Hit up the keepers. They LOVE talking about their animals. Learn the names of the animals alongside their species. As questions deeper than just the typical: What’s its species? What does it eat? Where does it live? Ask about that animal’s story. Where was it born? What are the plans for it? Is it retired or is it still a part of a breeding program? What’s its favorite enrichment? Does it mimic any behaviors that its cousins in the wild perform? Pick your favorite species and get to know the animal alongside the species. You can read textbooks and know everything there is to know about a species, but that doesn’t compare to knowing the individual. That’s definitely one of my favorite things about animals. Each one has its own personality, likes, and dislikes just like people do.
I may not be able to convince you to go support your local zoo, but I can share some fun facts that I learned during my day at the zoo. I’ll end this cute little article with them:
Fun Facts from the Zoo
- The cheetah featured in this post is named Rhaegal. He’s seven years old and has a brother named Viserion. They’re waiting to be selected to breed with cheetahs across the nation.
- Cheetahs are my favorite animals and I could fill up the fun facts with awesome facts about them, but I won’t. By the way, they can jump from 0 mph to 40 mph in a few seconds. Their top speed can reach up to 70 miles an hour.
- With COVID going on, primate keepers had to limit their contact with the monkeys and apes they cared for. The chimpanzee keepers at my zoo are just now starting to be able to train them again; however, they have to be fully vaccinated, wear the latest masks, and wear face shields.
- The Amur Leopard is the rarest leopard in the world. It originates from Russia and there are only about 80 of them left.
- All zoos across the nation work together to care for different species. The Species Survival Plan helps to coordinate which animal breeding pairs would benefit the future of a species. The plan does not pull animals from the wild as they don’t know that animal’s history.
- The Scimitar Horned Oryx was actually extinct in the wild. However, zoo breeding programs were able to rebuild the population in captivity. A reservation in Africa was set up and some oryxes (all tagged with trackers) were released onto it. The population is slowly growing and becoming sustainable.
- Lions can go weeks without eating in the wild. As long as they gorge on a kill every once in a while, they’re good.
- Male lions only live to about 12 years in the wild. The manes they grow are based on their testosterone levels. The higher their testosterone, the thicker their mane. The mane acts like armor around their necks. Young lions in their prime will have thicker manes and fight older lions with thinning manes for control of their prides. The male lion serves as the protector of the pride with his much larger frame while the slimmer, lighter females do all the hunting. A male lion on his own will have about a 5% success rate while hunting. Some older, male lions will form coalitions in order to lengthen their survival.
- Chimpanzees are endangered due to habitat loss. The area in Africa in which they live is rich with a metal used in cell phones. Their habitats are being destroyed due to humans mining for that metal. You can help save the chimpanzees’ habitat by recycling your old cell phones. You can drop them off at your local zoo or return them to the store.
- Animals that pass away in zoos are studied for caused of death. Stem cells are collected from them for the future of the species.
Weight of Worry
Do you ever find yourself facing a decision, an event, or an answer that you don’t want to come? You know things will change after it happens and you can’t decide which would be for the better. What if you make the wrong decision? What if that event doesn’t go the way you hope? What if the answer is “No” or even “Yes?” With all the variables involved, you can’t decide which is the best way or if this is even what you want. And when it comes down to it, you find yourself questioning: “How did I end up here?”
Life is full of unexpected twists and turns. Sometimes, growing up, you’re led to believe that you’re going to be prosperous. You’re born in a higher class, you end up staying in that higher class, but if you aren’t…well, you struggle. So, when that decision, event, or answer you don’t want to face comes around, you start having that conversation with the one you swore you’d never talk to again: comparison.
Isn’t it funny how in the midst of your dilemma, everyone else’s victories just seem brighter? They got a new job with a NICE pay raise. That guy moved out. Those two got married. All these different couples are having babies. Life is moving on. On the up and up! And then, there’s you.
You’re stressing over something that, in the grand scheme of things, isn’t a big deal.
“Who of you, by worrying can add a single day to your life?” ~ Luke 12:25
Regardless if you’re religious, a Christian, an atheist or not, would you mind taking a look at the verse again? Worrying can’t add a day to life. In fact, there are studies out there that say worrying and stress can decrease it. You can’t control what happens tomorrow. In fact, all you have is today. You could go to bed at night and not wake up tomorrow (I don’t mean to scare anyone). So, when you find that decision, event, or answer looming over you, reminding you that week is going to be hard just because it’s a week of change. You don’t know how things will work out. I hope you’ll remember you’re in today. When life gets uncertain, all you can do is take it a day at a time.
Allow me to be honest. I’m not where I thought I would be. If you asked the me from ten years ago, they would tell you I’d be somewhere completely different. They’d probably be disappointed in me if you told them where I’m at now and that’s okay. Life doesn’t go the way you expect it. Sometimes expectations and dreams have to take the sideroads instead of the highway, but you still get there. I may not know where I’m going anymore, but there’s no use worrying about it. Sometimes, you just have to take things one day at a time. You wait and see what doors open and while you’re waiting, you do good work: help others, show kindness, and don’t let the bitterness or disappointment weigh you down. Have faith that things will work out in the end.
Whatever decision, event, or answer you face this week, I hope you don’t stress over it. Strive for it. Do your best to get the outcome you desire, but don’t obsess over it. All the thoughts toward it in the world aren’t going to add a day to your life, so if you’ve done all you can do toward it, focus your thoughts on what’s really important: family, friends, and life itself. If you take a step back and see your situation in the grand scheme of things, I think you’ll find its not as big a mountain as you’ve made it to be. No matter the outcome of your week, I know you’ll be okay. We both will.
25 “Therefore I tell you, do not worry about your life, what you will eat or drink; or about your body, what you will wear. Is not life more than food, and the body more than clothes? 26 Look at the birds of the air; they do not sow or reap or store away in barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not much more valuable than they? 27 Can any one of you by worrying add a single hour to your life? 28 “And why do you worry about clothes? See how the flowers of the field grow. They do not labor or spin. 29 Yet I tell you that not even Solomon in all his splendor was dressed like one of these. 30 If that is how God clothes the grass of the field, which is here today and tomorrow is thrown into the fire, will he not much more clothe you—you of little faith? 31 So do not worry, saying, ‘What shall we eat?’ or ‘What shall we drink?’ or ‘What shall we wear?’ 32 For the pagans run after all these things, and your heavenly Father knows that you need them. 33 But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well. 34 Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own.
~Matthew 6:25-34
Writing Prompt: A Fairy Tale in a Faraway Land
Include the following in your story: dragon, strike, collection, guess, joke, smirk, twist, upstage, wreck, beaver
Night was setting in the village of Tree Garden and Willowtrix feared he was going to be late. He flew through the twist of trees that made the village, acorn lamps lit the branching roads. Willowtrix’s destination was Alderwood’s hollow and the thickest tree in the village. The old fairy often told his stories at sunset and Willowtrix loved every one. Most fairies thought Alderwood’s stories were a joke. They strike with degrading words and scorn Alderwood’s imaginative collection. Willowtrix liked to guess that the others were just jealous. No one told stories better than Alderwood and Willowtrix wanted to be just like him.
Willowtrix couldn’t stop the smirk on his face when he landed at Alderwood’s hollow. Fairies of all colors were gathered to hear tonight’s story. Willowtrix was thankful Alderwood hadn’t started yet, but his brown skin flushed when he realized it was mostly children years younger than him gathered about the front.
“I hope tonight’s story has a dragon in it!” Willowtrix over heard a couple children speaking. “One to wreck a castle!”
“I hope it’s about a princess!” A little girl swooned. “One who gets swept away by a romantic prince!”
Willowtrix chuckled to himself as he found a seat inside the hollow. Whatever the story was about tonight, he knew it would be good!
“Glad you can make it.” The older fairy Willowtrix sat next to smile at him. It was Lakelight. She always brought her son to hear the stories. “I think Alderwood hasn’t started yet because he was waiting for you.”
“I’m honored.” Willowtrix smiled, but he didn’t say anymore as the lights focused on stage at the far end of the hollow. Alderwood slowly walked forward, his wings hanging down with age. When he stepped up to his podium, he quietly scanned the room and Willowtrix swelled when Alderwood’s gaze rested upon him. The old fairy smiled and cleared his throat. “Once upon a time, there was a beaver…”
Big Man Bane
As many of you know, I work at an animal shelter. It is my pleasure to care for dogs until the day they find their forever families or the day they cross the rainbow bridge. My shelter has adoptions six days a week. Which means we go through a lot of dogs. So much so that our canine care techs don’t know every single one–and that’s not a bad thing! If a dog goes home to their forever family, then we know they’re in good hands and we don’t have to worry about them. We can keep our focus on the dogs that take longer to get out than others.
One of those dogs in our care was my big man: Bane. Bane is a 7 year old, black Labrador retriever/husky mix (at least that’s what our admissions team decided he is). I don’t know all of Bane’s story. He arrived at my shelter in December 2021, but our records indicate this isn’t his first time here. Back in 2016, Bane was caught as a stray and brought to us. No one claimed him, so he became available for adoption and he got adopted within a month–which is a pretty big thing for a big man like him. The sad part of his story is that he came back. Like I said, Bane arrived in December of last year. He came to us on a transfer from a different shelter, so that begs the question of was he surrendered there by his old family? Had he escaped and found as a stray? The truth is: I don’t know. None of us know. There’s no way to know what Bane’s life was like before he arrived at the shelter.
But, I can tell what his life was like at the shelter.
Like all our dogs, Bane was behaviorally and medically evaluated before being made available for adoption. He got added to our walking list and put on the adoption floor so he could be seen by the public. He did have one adoption meet and greet in December, but the family decided he was too big. Yeah. Bane’s a big guy. Which meant, he filled quite a bit of space in our kennels. A big dog in a small space like that for long periods of time leads to high stress levels. It got to the point where he was hypersalivating and barking at our volunteers when they tried to take him out for walks. We tried putting him our biggest suite to see if that would help him, but all the activity that happens around that suite also had him on edge.
I, personally, never had many issues whenever I took Bane out for a walk. He had an easy walk harness and (with me) he learned that he couldn’t leave the kennel without it on, so he let me slip it on him without issue. Once on, he’d bark until I opened the kennel door. Going through the shelter was Bane’s biggest problem. He doesn’t have the greatest dog skills and all the barking dogs in the shelter would hype him up. He wanted to meet every single one and he’d lunge at each kennel just to try. Getting him through the shelter was like fighting a runaway lawnmower, but once he was outside, he was great! Pulled a little, but was great!
Now, our volunteers weren’t always up for dealing with Bane’s antics and since I’m one of the more physically stronger members of my team, I ended up taking him out a lot. We had a bit of a rocky start to our relationship with all of his antics, but he became my number one dog at the shelter.
Shelter stress was still getting to Bane, though. A normal kennel was too small for him and our biggest suite made him too high-strung, so he ended up getting moved off the adoption floor and into one of the smaller suites in our holding area. The behavior team made that decision after Bane started making volunteers feel uncomfortable. Bane wasn’t letting volunteers harness him. The behavior team and I went back and forth about him. He was made “staff only” and since he was most comfortable with me, I walked him the most to ensure no incidents happened. I also decided to make him work harder for treats during our training sessions.
Eventually, Bane got to the point where volunteers could walk him again and he was enrolled with a staff member in our training course (unfortunately, no. I was not the staff member)! Things were looking up for him! He liked his small suite in our holding area. We could sheet him so he didn’t get stressed by all the people and dogs going by and he was getting out of his kennel a little more with his training. I thought things were going well. I got my hopes up too soon.
To my great misfortune, Bane had an incident. One of our vet techs needed to give him multi, a flea and tick deterrent. It’s supposed to go right between his shoulder blades. The vet tech didn’t feel comfortable giving it to him, so they asked me to do it. Bane let me in the kennel just fine and happily took treats from my hand. I showed him the multi since I know how he is with new things–he doesn’t like what he doesn’t understand and he certainly didn’t understand what that multi was. Every time I’d try to give it to him, he would back away. He’d still come for treats and hotdogs and I made sure not to go over his head with the multi, but he wanted nothing to do with it. Eventually, he did snarl at the multi and I took the hint, gave him the rest of my hotdogs, and left the kennel without getting the multi on him. I wasn’t going to tell our behavior team, but the vet tech did, so Bane became a behavior team only dog.
I’ll admit it. When they asked me to hang “BE ONLY” (Behavior evaluators only) signs on his kennel, I burst into tears. I’ve had so many dogs at the shelter that I’ve worked with and fallen in love with get euthanized some time after those “BE ONLY” signs got put up. Lucky, Yodel, Indiana Bones, Dusk, and more. Losing them kept me from wanting to get close to another shelter dog. I always seem to attach to the trouble children that make bad choices or lose the battle against shelter stress and they end up getting euthanized. Bane and I had a rocky start to our relationship because I didn’t want to get close to him. I didn’t want my heart broken again. Yet, Bane got his way and I fell in love with him. If it weren’t for the animals I have at home, I probably would’ve adopted him. So, when I was told to hang those “BE ONLY” signs on Bane’s kennel, I feared that it was only a matter of time before he crossed the rainbow too.
The incident with the multi happened on my Friday. Throughout the weekend, I was expecting to come back to an email that Bane was unadoptable and therefore getting euthanized. Yet, to my sweet relief, he was made available again and anyone could walk him. I even overheard a conversation of a behavior member speaking to the coworker who had Bane in the training class. They were asking if that coworker still felt comfortable taking Bane to class after what happened and I can’t describe how relieved I was to hear that coworker still wanted Bane in class. Later that day, behavior sought me out to inform me that Bane passed all the tests that they did. Like I figured, it was just the multi that he didn’t like with the incident. Bane passed their food test with flying colors, he was even afraid of the fake hand they used for it. The only thing behavior saw wrong with him was that he was a little headshy, which meant they where taking away his harness–I was okay with that. Bane loves hugs, but not from people he doesn’t know.
With Bane made available again, I kicked his training into overdrive and pushed the different departments to make him noticeable to the public. I didn’t want him to be another victim of shelter stress. So, on nice days, I took him to our agility park. I let him run around off leash and played fetch with him so he could burn off the energy that the shelter stifled inside of him. He’s a glutton for treats and, using that against him, I taught him to speak, loose-leash walk, got him to work our A-frame, jump the three different hoops in the park, and roll over (he already knew sit, shake, and laydown before he arrived at our shelter)! I was getting with my team to get a video together of him doing all his tricks so we could show him off to the world and hopefully get him adopted!
Then winter came back.
We got hit with below freezing temperatures and knee-high drifts of snow. The dogs can only be out for about five minutes a walk in weather like that. Bane and I didn’t get to the agility park. I’d take him out to pee and I’d take him back inside. The team did our best to give the dogs lasting enrichment in those days, but there’s only so much that can be done that will take a long time and not make them fat.
Then we got a huge transfer of animals. 95 animals, both cats and dogs (but 80% dogs), arrived at our shelter. I ended up working a ten hour day last Friday to help with it. Working those ten hours put me over for the week. Since I work at a nonprofit, they frown on people for getting overtime. Being over for the week meant I had to leave early on Saturday. It wasn’t the best Saturday. I was tired, grumpy, and deep cleaning got on my nerves (again). I’m thankful for my coworkers being patient with me. That morning, I cleaned out Bane’s suite, gave him all fresh toys and blankets and a new bed. Then, I sat with him a little bit. Like I said, he loves hugs if he knows you and I was hugging and squeezing my big man because that was the cure I needed that grumpy morning. I made him run through his tricks before I tossed him all my treats and left. I thought I would see him again.
I had nothing on my mind except for a shower and a nap when I left that day. Yet, I arrived home to text messages from my coworkers stating that Bane had a meet and greet. He’s only ever had one since he came back to the shelter. Being a big, old, black lab mix on the holding floor doesn’t bode well for dogs. I’m not sure how the couple found out about him. Maybe they saw him as the featured dog for the week? When I heard he had a meet and greet, I watched the meet and greet log like a hawk. It took a long time–which was good. It meant the adoption counselor was being thorough and the family was taking the time to get to know Bane. I prayed. I held my breath. I breathe out again. I paced. I did the whole works! This was my big man’s big chance! I didn’t know anything about the family, but I did know that there was hope. Bane could get out of the shelter and live in a home. This was his chance to slip through the fingers of death and live the rest of his life happy! I wanted it so badly for him!
And, you know what? The log turned green. Bane got adopted.
I cried like a baby. My coworkers were texting me. Everyone was so excited! Yet, I couldn’t respond because of all the waterworks. I’m so happy for Bane! He’s gonna live his best life! But, it hurts that I never got to say goodbye.
I was informed that Bane was adopted to a couple who roughly appeared to be in their 50s. The couple had taken in strays before and they were used to dogs who took a little bit to open up. Then, I found out that they also have three acres of land. He essentially going to the perfect home. I have faith to believe that this time the adoption will stick. He won’t get returned somewhere else and then brought to our shelter. He won’t be so stressed that he hurts someone and there’s no other dog in the home for him to misunderstand. He’ll be happy! And knowing that makes all my hard work worth it.
Bane may never jump hoops or run an A-frame again, but I did my part. I helped him survive shelter life until that perfect family showed up. Shelters do that for a lot of dogs. We get thousands of adoptions a year. Yet, every shelter worker can tell you about their favorite dogs. The ones they worked with. The ones they cared for and gave their hearts too. Bane is one of those dogs for me and as much as I’m gonna miss him. I don’t ever want him to come back.
Proud of you, Bane. You’re my best boy!

Movie Review: Encanto
Photo owned by Disney
My writing prompt this week asked me to write a review about the last movie I saw. Well, that would be Disney’s Encanto–which shouldn’t be a surprise given I love Disney movies. I’ve probably seen Encanto five times since it came out and I would like to share why.
Encanto is fun, exciting, visually stunning, has an awesome soundtrack, is full of unique characters and the tiniest details, and my favorite part of Encanto is that it’s relatable. There’s a song for each person whether you feel pressured or expected to be perfect or you just wish someone would grant you a miracle, but it’s also relatable in the sense of family dynamic. The whole story is about one incredibly gifted family and the main character, Mirabel, is the only one who doesn’t have a gift. So she’s surrounded by people who can do amazing things for the family and their community and she can’t do any of that stuff. Her family doesn’t recognize her that much since she doesn’t have a gift and they even forget her in a family photo.
That sucks, right? Being forgotten by your family because you’re not as talented as everyone else. You can’t do these amazing feats or have all these accomplishments so you end up stuck on the side. No one sees your worth because you’re outshined by everyone else.
That. Right there is what is so relatable to me. Like I said, I come from a large family. I have a BUNCH of cousins who have accomplished some extraordinary things and when everyone gets together, it’s those things that are highlighted. They deserve it! Don’t get me wrong! Like Mirabel, I’m proud of my family and I’m happy to be a part of it. I believe Disney’s Encanto does a fantastic job of getting to the heart of family dynamic and how view of it can get skewed, but there’s always a chance to rebuild on a new foundation.
If you haven’t seen Encanto, I strongly recommend it. Likely, you’ll relate to something in it and when you do, I dare you to take a look at your family and see how you can make things better.
Fresh Breath of Spring
I don’t know about you, but I’m not a winter child. I do not thrive in cold. I don’t like bundling up and I certainly don’t like not being able to walk outside barefoot. So, when winter comes around, any depression or negativity in the air can hit a little bit hard–especially since you’re stuck inside a lot and you can’t get that sunny Vitamin D. Plus, my computer sits right next to my window, so I can look outside at a bright, sunny day and with my window open, I can write away. Sure, snow on the ground is pretty, but it gets kind of chilly next to the window.
I live in a place where the weather is weird. One day, it’s near fifty degrees (Fahrenheit not Celsius). The next, it’s below zero and it gets worse when spring comes around. You think winter has finally broken then BAM: ice storm. You could gripe and moan and complain, but none of that is going to change anything. I mean, it’s the weather. We can’t control it. You can spend your time fretting over it, dreading the days to come because of iffy road conditions or how you hate the cold, OR you can just roll with it. Make sure you’re prepared and push on because, in the end: spring is still coming.
The other day, I was standing out on the back porch. It was upper forties weather and for once, I wasn’t too cold. The sky was clear, the plants were still asleep, but the birds were coming back. All through winter, we noticed that the birds weren’t coming around like they used too. We knew some species migrated, but there was always a few that stuck around. That day on the porch, I counted at least six different species of birds fluttering about our backyard. It was a relieving sight, to be honest. Things were warming up, looking up, and coming alive again. I look forward to feeling the warm sun on my shoulders, seeing buds sprout from branches, and see activity in the world again instead of the quiet, dormant, and cold winter.
Now comes the part where my own writing teaches me a lesson. Remember when I said the weather is weird? Around here it goes up and down like its Gollum from Lord of the Rings having mood swings. Well, life is like that. You can seasons where everything is on the up and up and seasons were you just can’t get higher than one degree (Fahrenheit, not Celsius). Then, you get those seasons where its up one day, down the next, then back up again. Life has its mood swings and you don’t know if you should celebrating, crying, or pulling your hair out. When life gets that way, I hope you remember something: spring is still coming.
Maybe you have a hard time seeing it in your circumstances? Maybe things are stressful at work because of short staffing and the thoughts in your head. Maybe you put so much in here and there, that you don’t have time for a break. Maybe your friend let you down? Your car broke down? You lost your job? Or facing an opportunity that scares you, but you know you’re going to regret it if you don’t take it. Whatever your circumstances, spring is still coming, things will get better, dreams do come true. It just might take a little bit longer to see it. Like when I was standing on that porch, looking for the birds. Birds are so common that most people just pass them by, but when I stopped to give them my time, I saw species that I hadn’t seen all winter. That showed me that things would get better. Spring is coming.
So, despite the up and downs of the weather–we’re even predicted to have another snowstorm this week–I know that warmer days are ahead. Which means, no matter the ups and downs of your circumstances. No matter if you feel cold, quiet, and dormant, we can be assured that warmer, active, and brighter days are ahead. Don’t be held down by the chilly weight of winter, but breathe in the fresh breath of spring.
It’s right around the corner for all of us.
I Love You
Valentine’s day is right around the corner. I’m not the biggest fan of it, but I still believe that love deserves to be celebrated. And despite all the chocolate, flowers, and red hearts this season, love is the greatest gift of all. This is the time of year that those three little words show up quite often and are said often. The notorious: “I love you.”
That’s a deep saying, don’t you think? “I love you.” We say it all the time to family, maybe a few of us say it to friends, and we say it a lot about things we like: “oh, my gosh! I love ice cream! Etc.”
So, we say “I Love You” a lot and especially this time of year. But, what about showing it? What about meaning it? How would you do that? If you’re like me, you’ve been questioning what it means to love lately. Thankfully, my answer came through my meme collection (yes, I have a meme collection). As I was scrolling through, I came across a photo I saved a couple years ago. I don’t know who I got the photo from, who the original creator is, or where I even found it, but I’m glad I saved it. Safe to say, it’s a bit of an answered prayer. I’ve been questioning what it means to love and this photo is a list of ten simple ways to show love to someone. Actions speak louder than words, right? So, I dare you to apply some of the items on the list to your life. Start showing love to the people you care about most and the people who care about you. I’m certainly going to put effort into doing better at a lot of these to. Maybe we can keep each other accountable? I don’t claim to be an expert, but I figured I’d share my thoughts. Let’s check out the list and see what you think:
1. Listen without Interrupting
This is definitely a huge one in my book. I’ve noticed these days that people are so quick to talk and be heard, but no one really takes the time to listen. To really listen. I mean, think about how many times you’ve been in a conversation and someone cuts you off or you cut someone else off because you want to say what’s on your mind before you forget it or you want to correct someone. Maybe someone is trying to speak their heart to you, but you won’t be patient enough to give them the time? Listening is a huge way of showing kindness and love to someone. You hear their side of the story. How they’re feeling. And you get the chance to know that person a little bit better. I dare you this week to think about your conversations with people and how much listening you actually do.
You have to be careful, though. It’s easy to want to listen, but as you’re listening, you think of something you want to say. You could hold onto what you want to say until they’re done talking, just be sure that while you’re holding onto your words, you don’t lose track of what the other person is saying. And, if you end up forgetting what you want to say, don’t tell the other person: “I was going to say something, but I forgot what because I didn’t want to interrupt,” because that could end up making the person you were listening to feel like they were talking too much and then they feel bad. So, being a good listener is more than just listening. You have to be considerate about what the other person is saying and focused on that over the words you want coming out of your mouth.
2. Speak without Accusing
This one’s hard and I think it’s hardest at work around coworkers. Where I work, things tend to disappear. Our broom would walk away, same with treats we set aside for the dogs, dog toys, scrapers, scrub brushes, tape, pens, and much more. And when we need one of those items, we’re a little quick to assume that one of the other departments took it (when we could’ve easily misplaced it ourselves). It’s too easy to get bitter and go up to one of those other departments and accuse them of taking our stuff when we have no proof of if they did or not. You do that and your coworker is likely not going to give it back to you, but if you speak without accusing–in my experience–the coworker typically apologizes and returns it right away and you both walk away on good terms. One of the sad things about our stuff walking away at work is that we’re not so eager to lend our items out. I’ve noticed my coworkers and even myself being a little accusing when someone asks to borrow something (which, we should just be thankful they’re asking). Someone who may have never “stolen” anything from us would get a harsh: “make sure you bring it back!” when they don’t deserve it. What about in your life? Can you think of any instances where you may have spoken accusingly? I dare you to do speak with love.
3: Give without Sparing
I don’t know about you, but this one’s a little hard. People are naturally selfish, I think, so when it comes to sharing or giving something away, we might be a little reluctant–especially if you don’t have much to begin with. I think the world needs to be more comfortable with giving without expecting anything in return. Give your time. Give your food, money, or pens at work. I dare you give more than what people ask for and get comfortable with it.
4. Pray without Ceasing
This is one is definitely more religious and that’s okay. You don’t have to be religious to show love. Like other Christians, I serve a God of Love, and connecting with Him makes it easier for me to show love to others. When it comes to praying for other people, your heart grows for them more. You pray that their dreams come true, that they make it through their hard time, any illness they have is vanquished. You could say praying for someone is kinda like rooting for them and people always feel loved when they know you’re in their corner. I dare you to pray.
5. Answer without Arguing
The tone of your voice has the power to say more than the words you speak. Even a simple ride or low and someone can mistake you for trying to argue. When I think about this point, it just reminds me that kindness is key. Even when you feel someone is wrong, always respond with kindness in your correction. Like that old saying “take things with a grain of salt.” Sometimes you have to offer a grain of salt when you answer. So, I dare you to enter every conversation with kindness.
6. Share without Pretending
When we’re little, one of the first things we’re taught is to share. Share toys. Share food and we probably did a lot of griping and groaning about it. As you get older, it gets a little easier to share material things, but what about the immaterial? If someone came up to you and asked: “how are you?” Would you pretend that every is fine and your life is perfect? Or would you share the truth about hardships weighing you down? When it comes to your loved ones, you should feel safe enough to share anything and sharing the hard stuff makes them feel trusted and loved. I dare you to stop pretending and be honest with everything you share.
7. Enjoy without Complaint
Have you ever had someone do something nice for you? Maybe make you dinner or build you something for a project of yours? How did you react to that? Were you excited and appreciative or did you let that person know that the chicken was a little overdone? Or that you would’ve built what they made you differently? I’ll be honest, if I was that person making the dinner or building that item, it wouldn’t feel good if you critiqued how I did. Maybe you would feel the same way? So the next time someone makes you something whether dinner or otherwise: enjoy it how it is. Be thankful and happy that they did what they did for you even though it’s a little burnt or not to your specifications. That person took the time to do that for you. So, show love by appreciating every aspect without critique.
8. Trust without Wavering
Trusting is hard. Lately, I’ve lost my trust in people. So many have proved disappointing in one way or another. Whether its trusting someone to keep their word, be reliable, or just be truthful. Finding a trusting person is hard to come by. Sure, no one would trust a total stranger, but what about your loved ones? Do you trust them at their word? Trust them to keep their promises? Pay you back? Watch over your property? Or do you trust that they’ll be a disappointment? I need to do better in this aspect. Maybe you and I can do better together?
9. Prove without Promising
Unfortunately, in this day and age, words are just words. They mean things, but they don’t have real meaning. That old saying: “actions speak louder than words” is right. You can promise someone up and down that you’ll listen more or do that thing or not cancel on them again, but unless you do it, people aren’t inclined to believe you. So, why bother promising? Prove to your loved ones that you care about their needs and desires without promising anything more.
10. Promise without Forgetting.
This may seem counteractive to the previous one.l, but promising something isn’t a bad thing as long you remember it and keep it. Have you ever had someone break a promise to you? Or promise they’ll do something for you and they never do it? I bet you already thought up a time or two when that happened. It doesn’t feel the greatest. Putting your faith in someone and winding up disappointed. It makes you untrusting and bitter. You wouldn’t wish that on your loved ones, so I dare you to keep and remember every promise you make.
The Dilemma of the Introvert
Please leave me alone
I need some space
I just want to be alone
There’s nothing more I can face
I don’t want to listen
I don’t want to talk
I don’t want to think of my expressions
That people watch like a hawk
Just leave me be
Leave me in peace
Leave me in silence
With a moment to breathe
There’s too much activity
Too much emotion
Like I’m stuck in captivity
Or drowning in an ocean
I just need a moment
Please understand
You’re not my opponent
It’s not you I can’t stand
Just one hour, maybe two
And I’ll be ready to hang out with you
I need to recharge
I need to step back
Because my head is all out of whack.
So, give me some time
I hope you don’t mind
I need a chance to sort this tension
Then you can have my full attention
Today I Hope…
You find hope. I hope you believe that your dreams aren’t in vain. They are possible. I hope you see yourself becoming the best version of you and you find encouragement in the unexpected. I hope someone will believe in you and believe that your dream will come true right along with you. I hope no one brings up your biggest hurdle except to mention how well you’ll soar over it. I hope you defy all odds and exceed expectations. I hope you know you’re good at something. You’re good at what you love.
I hope you find hope.