nikki diekemper

Stuck on a Dream

A cool breeze rustled the leaves and Willowtrix was thankful for it. He rested his ax on his shoulder as he flew up to another apple. It wasn’t hard chopping the apples down for Vinifree to catch below, but since he’d been doing it all morning, he was quite ready to be done. Tree Garden had the largest apple orchard in the kingdom after all.

“That’s another basket full!” Vinifree called from below. She stood up straighter to wipe the sweat from her brow as she smiled at their collection of apples. “We should be able to fill one more basket by the end of the day.”

“Another basket?” Willowtrix flew down to one of the lower branches so the faun could see his disapproval. “Haven’t we filled enough already?”

“I don’t know,” Vinifree flushed and awkwardly scratched up by her horn. “I lost count three baskets ago.”

Willowtrix groaned and plopped down to sit on the branch. Heaven bless Vinifree. She was his best friend, but she enjoyed her job a little too much. “I say we call it for the day. My wings are tired and I’m sick of dodging the leaves and branches. Not to mention all the bugs and birds! I almost got attacked by a sparrow in that last tree!”

“I remember, you screamed like a child.” Vinifree sighed. “Come on, Willowtrix, this is one of the best jobs a fairy like you could have. At least you’re not working compost.”

“I’d rather not be working the orchard at all.” Willowtrix rested his head in his hand. “It’s easy for you fauns, all you have to do is carry the basket, catch the apples, and bring the full baskets back.”

“It’s not that simple, I have to sort the apples when I get back too.” Vinifree furrowed her brow. “This is the best part of the job, Willowtrix! We’ve cared for these trees all year and look at this beautiful harvest!” She picked up the reddest apple in the basket. “I bet some of these even make it to the king’s table all the way in the Capital because of how delicious they are!”

“Hooray,” Willowtrix said dully. “If we sell apples to the King then they’ll plant more trees, hire more workers–which means we’ll be stuck training them. More workers and bigger orchard means more work to be done!”

“It also means higher pay.” Vinifree planted her hands on her chocolate furred hips. “Which means you’ll be able to support you and your mother. Good, old Egriton is thinking about leaving the orchard which means there could be a promotion up for grabs!” She danced her hooves upon the ground in giddy glee. “I’m certainly going for it!”

“Good for you,” Willowtrix sighed and shook his head. He looked down at his callous hands. He was a brown fairy which meant he blended well with the forest. It was all well and good for childhood pranks, but people often missed him in the daylight hours. “You may be content working the orchard your whole life, but I’m not.” He looked down at Vinifree. “I want to see more of the kingdom than just Tree Garden!”

“Oh, don’t start that again, Willowtrix.” Vinifree shook her head. “You know how unrealistic it is for a fairy to be a storyteller? You’re too small and your voice will never be loud enough to speak over a crowd. Besides, if people don’t like your stories, they’re not going to pay you.”

“That’s why I’ll have many different stories!” Willowtrix clenched his fists. “And I’ll have ways to make my voice louder. Alderwood said I only need a horn to help with that.” When Vinifree shook her head, Willowtrix flew down in front of her. “I have a story I think you’ll like.”

“You said that about the last one you told me.”

“This one’s better, I promise! Come on! Let’s take a break from apple picking for at least a few minutes!”

Vinifree rolled her eyes. “Fine. What do you got?”

“Alright.” Willowtrix grinned from ear to ear. “Once upon a time, there was this mother and son–”

“Do you always have to start with ‘once upon a time?'”

Willowtrix nodded. “That’s how Alderwood starts all his stories.”

“I think you should change it up.”

Willowtrix lightly tossed his eyes. “Thank you for the feedback. May I continue?”

“Fine.”

“On a small farm on the far outskirts of a village, lived a mother and son. They were very poor. The last harvest was not enough for them to have enough food through the winter, so the mother told her son to go into the village and sell their only cow.”

“Why sell the cow? They could use it to till their fields and produce milk.”

“Uh…” Willowtrix furrowed his brow. “Well, the cow wasn’t strong enough to plow the fields and its milk had run dry.”

“Well, that doesn’t make any sense.” Vinifree crossed her arms. “Who would buy a cow like that?”

Willowtrix huffed. “Someone who doesn’t know what kind of rotten deal they’re getting! Can I continue?”

“Fine.”

“The boy starts heading into town with the cow, but he gets there, he meets a cloaked woman on the side of the road. She offers him a trade: his cow for her magic beans.”

“Magic beans?!” Vinifree blatantly looked like she thought he was nuts. “There’s not such thing!”

“So? It’s said that fairies and fauns are magic so why not beans?”

“The only magic, Willowtrix, is what the mage at the Capital can do.” Vinifree huffed. “I doubt he would approve of your story.”

“I don’t care?” Willowtrix squinted at her. Why was she being so finicky with his details? She never treated his stories like this before. “It doesn’t matter if magic beans are real are not. They are in the story.”

“So you’re going to go around convincing children there are magic beans out there that all they have to do to get it is trade their worst cow for?” Vinifree shook her head. “This is why you fairies shouldn’t tell stories. Fairy’s tales are make believe!”

“That’s the point!” Willowtrix stared at her in utter shock. “So they’re not real! But the lessons in them are real! The escape they provide is real! Just think about how nice it is to go home from a long day at work and escaping into another world?”

“I’d rather escape into my bed.”

Willowtrix threw his hands up. “Well, maybe you do! But some of us out there like a good story now and then! What is going on with you? You’ve never scrutinized my stories before!”

“I just think you should have more realistic stories.” Vinifree shrugged and wouldn’t look at him. “Maybe you could tell the history of Tree Garden? Or our orchard? You could get Tree Garden on the map!”

Willowtrix furrowed his brow. “Tree Garden is already on the map. Besides, our history is pretty bland. Fauns and fairies settled here. We planted a garden. It grew. End of story.”

“Willowtrix! Vinifree!” The two jumped when Egriton’s sharp shout sounded from further down the orchard. “What are you doing standing around for?! Get back to work!”

“I’ll take this basket to the front.” Vinifree winced as she hauled the full basket over her shoulder.

Willowtrix felt a bit guilty. She wouldn’t be in line for that promotion if Egriton saw her as lazy. “I’ll start on the next tree,” he muttered quietly. He flew up to the branch to retrieve his axe. He wasn’t going to bother trying to tell the ending of his story to Vinifree. Maybe he could catch up with Alderwood later? Get feedback from a real storyteller instead of a faun who didn’t want to hear it. That confused him, though. Vinifree always listened to his stories. What changed? He looked back in her direction when he landed on a branch in the next apple tree. She was talking with Egriton as she made her way back to the front of orchard. I’m not going to stay stuck here, he promised himself. I can make it as a story teller. I know it!

Trusty, Old, Page

Every writer hurts.
Every writer cries.
Many writers don’t know how to speak why.
When emotions boil up.
The valve is under pressure.
You can’t give a word and hold it all together.
If you can’t speak and you can’t explain.
Just turn to the one thing to help you maintain
A calm and maturity similar to a sage
That dependable, reliable, old friend: the page.
A single blank page. No judgement it casts.
To bear all your burdens and you don’t have to ask.
Write it all down: the emotions, the rage.
It can handle it all, that trusty, old page.
Shed tears. Scream anger. Grind in the words.
In written form and not to be heard.
Keep it in shadow. Not to see the light of day.
Or share it to others who relate in a way.
Regardless, there is one thing for certain.
Leave it there. Don’t let it be a burden.
Leave the emotions, the hurt, sorrow, and distrust.
Right there on the page. This is a must!
Walk away free from the anger you shed.
Walk away free to try trusting again.
Leave it on the page and worry no more.
Leave it there to not corrupt your core.
Every writer has struggles they need to get out.
Every writer knows without a doubt.
When troubles come to bring boils and rage.
Every writer can depend on that trusty, old page.

Well, I’m Great Because…Uh…

Tell me about yourself. What are your pros and cons? You have an impressive resume. Tell me something that’s not on it. Give me an insight into you. Why do you want to work here? What do you hope to gain? And on and on it goes.

We’ve all been there. When you’re looking for a job, you have to go through the interview process. You have to talk about yourself, boast your best qualities, and raise your pedestal high. You gotta answer that question of “I’m great for this position because…” and if you’re like me, you bite your tongue and your mind goes blank. I’m currently seeking a new job and I’ve undergone a couple interviews already. It’s safe to say I’m reaching my limit. I’ve had interviews that were super stressful. There’s a lot of pressure and judgement. I’ve also had interviews that have floored me with how laid back and causal they are. Yet, no matter which type I endure, I still struggle, because I am not good at talking myself up.

Interviewing is a skill and an essential one if you want that dream job. Like all skills, some are better at it than others. In regards to everyone I’ve spoken to about interviews, the truth is: everybody gets nervous.

Take a friend of mine. She recently interviewed for a position she really wanted. I knew she was going to get it. She has the skills. She has the smarts. The passion. There was no doubt in my mind that she was going to get picked. In her mind, though, she was jittery and nervous. She saw all the outcomes: if she did get picked and if she didn’t get picked. She wanted this job, because she knew she could grow in a field she really enjoys. If she didn’t get the job, she’d be stuck spinning her wheels and looking for something else that offered the same kind of growth. The morning of the interview arrived and she dressed to impress and show her seriousness toward this position. I don’t know what all was said in her interview, but she ended up getting a tour of the facility and the assurance of explanations saved for later. That, to me, confirmed they were going to offer her the job, but she didn’t want to get her hopes up and I completely understand that.

Disappointment is a heavy feeling. If words could die, that would be one of the first ones I’d off. Nobody wants to fly their hopes too high in fear of getting struck by the lightning of disappointment. I’ve been there. I’ve done that. I’ve thought for sure I’d get a job and then I wouldn’t hear back or the rejection comes two months later. It can mess with your self-worth when you often get:
“Thank you for your interest. Unfortunately, we’re going with someone else.”
“Thank you for applying, but we’re going another route.”
“We realized we’ve offered you this position; however, in light of COVID, we’ve had to take budget cuts. So, your position is now no longer a thing. We wish you the best.”

Yeah. It sucks. Makes you feel like you’re not good enough for anything despite what your resume says. It highlights what you’re not so good at. Your personality flaws. That little voice in the back of your mind tells you you’ll never be good enough. Unfortunately, that little voice attacks at every process of job searching. While you’re scrolling through jobs. While you’re applying. Before the interview. During the interview. After the interview. It’s relentless and it wants to see you fail. To give into your doubts and fears and not rise to your full potential. My friend had that little voice come after her in the form of worry and anxiousness after the interview. She was waiting days for a response from the company and was trying to keep herself busy so she wouldn’t fret over it too much. After those few days, it came to no surprise to me when she happily sent out the message that she was offered the position and she accepted it.

It was curious, to me. Here I was in the sure faith that she’d get the job and yet she was like a boat on the waves, hoping and not hoping, fretting and pushing it off. Why is it that when the interview came, she admitted to having a hard time talking about herself, but I could sit here and write a book on how hard working and such an awesome person she is? Why is it that we can say all these great things about others, but struggle to promote good things about ourselves?

Turn the page to my latest interview. It was scheduled for later in the week. I had days to prepare. Yet, I’d be lying if I said I wasn’t nervous. I got up the day of, planned out my outfit, did something relaxing, thought over some answers to potential questions, and that little voice came knocking in my mind. It started asking:
“Why are you even bothering to prepare? You’re not going to get this job just like the last couple that rejected you.”
“What makes you think you’re qualified for this position? You have no experience in this field.”

“You think you’re good enough? Please! There’s hundreds of people better than you!”
“What are you going to tell them when they ask your pros and cons? You’re too quiet, remember? Your personality won’t clash.”

On and on it went. That little voice killed my morning and got me to a point where I didn’t even want to go to the interview. I’m so tired of being told: “We’re going with somebody else.”

When the interview finally came, I did my best. I’m better at written words rather than verbal communication, but I tried. It just sucks when you’re in the moment. You get an off the wall question and you lock up. When it’s all said and done, you walk away realizing that you could’ve answered that better. I walked away from that interview feeling okay about it. I decided I really hoped they’d pick me because the people were nice, the facility was fantastic, and they showed a lot of care in what they do. I dared to let myself consider how it would go if I got it. It’s closer to home. The pay is higher. They said they were willing to teach me everything I didn’t know and I knew I could learn a lot. There would be a lot of possibilities if I got.

Unfortunately, I didn’t.

I got the email early the next day saying they were going with someone else. It got me thinking that they only interviewed me out of courtesy. They already had someone in mind. That would explain why they were so lax about the interview and didn’t have many questions prepared…bummer.

So, here I am back at the beginning stages of searching and applying for jobs. That little voice I wish I could ignore keeps hanging around. You know it affects your interview answers. How can you talk yourself up when that little voice keeps reminding you how much you suck? And rejections go and add fuel to its fire. You hear other people tell you: “don’t worry the right thing will come along.” And that little voice scoffs and asks: “will it though? It’ll take too long.”

How do you combat that voice? How do you shut it up and stand in confidence? How do you bring your worth to that interview without seeming arrogant? How do you keep your hopes manageable?

Well, in regards to that little voice. Argue with it. If it says you’re not good enough, demand to know why? Make it list its reasons. Because you’re too quiet? That means you’re a good listener, you’re observant. Because you don’t have the experience? You’re willing to learn. Tell it why you’re worth the investment. There’s somebody out there better than you? That’s true. There’s always going to be someone better, but you’ve got a passion for this. You’re willing to fight for it.

That little voice isn’t going to go away easily. You’ve got to put the effort in to fight back. Believe in yourself despite the negativity. When it comes to doing the actual interview, always be kind. From my experience, kindness goes a long way and can offset the arrogance you feel for talking yourself up so much.

So, how do you keep your hopes manageable? You could lay out all the facts. Be logical about it. I mean, there’s a gazillion jobs out there. Odds are your going to get one. Or, you could expect disappointment, because then you’ll never be disappointed. But, I gotta ask, how many movies or books have you seen or read where the hope was the main theme? You get these down on their luck societies, prisoners, or children. They could be under the rule of a tyrant, lost in the wilderness, or facing the unbeatable odds, yet the villain is constantly trying to drown all hope because just a spark is too powerful to contain.

Why can’t we have hope like that in the job search process? We see those characters from those inspiring stories get knocked down to their knees. They reach their darkest hour where all hope seems lost and yet when you turn the page, there’s salvation. Hope again. They’re heroes, victorious, and all is well. Why don’t we view the job search like those stories? With every rejection, you’re brought to your darkest hour, but you have to keep going. Turn that page, and victory is right around the corner. The right job will come.

No matter where you are in the job searching process, I hope this article brought you some encouragement. I’m not going to give up finding the right job and I don’t think you should either. The next time you get an interview, I hope you really consider your answers and believe them. You are great for a number of reasons and no little voice in your mind is allowed to tell you otherwise.

Just Dance

The world’s kinda falling apart right now, isn’t it? Or at least it feels that way. I mean, political debates, wars, the environment, etc. Etc. Etc. Or maybe your own personal world is falling apart? Drama at work. Lost your job. Family member passed away. There’s a lot of heaviness going around and, unfortunately, heaviness breeds heaviness.

Things haven’t been going quite my way these past couple weeks. I put my two weeks at my job and I haven’t any idea what I’m doing next. I mean, if you throw in all the variables, I could amount to a lot or nothing at all. It should be stressful. It should be heart crushing, suffocating, what am I doing with my life, pull your hair out type of stress. Yet, I’m not worrying about it. Something will come along. Something will give and provide direction. In the meantime, I’m not going to sweat over it. I’m not even sweating over things at my job anymore. I’m still doing the work, but I’m not going to break my back over it. Matter of fact, I’ve been trying to have fun with it.

I’m a cleaner. I clean kennels at an animal shelter. Every morning when I go to work, I deep clean different rows of kennels and I honestly hate deep cleaning. Now, I could grind and moan about the work like I used too, stress about getting it all done before we open, but my team is amazing. We do a pretty good job knocking everything out and we’re even short staffed! So, knowing that we’ve got each other’s back, there’s no reason to stress about doing it all. There have been days, lately, where I take my time to do a good job and I still get done at a reasonable time. What’s more is that I’ve been cranking up my tunes each day and that’s made a big difference.

I listen to Pandora while I work. I have four different stations that I cycle through–two more than most. I’ve been trying to tailor the stations better. Tailor them to more uplifting music. Yesterday, I was listening to a station I hadn’t listened too in over a year (because it has a bad habit of only playing slow love songs–ugh). Tailoring out some of the songs that I could do with not hearing again, I started hearing songs that I haven’t heard in probably years. These were songs that I grew up with. Songs my brother and I had our dances to and surprisingly enough, I still remembered the words! When I deep clean at work, I deep clean my rows by myself and it’s a very loud environment with all the barking dogs, hoses going, so on and so forth. So I’ve indulged myself lately by singing and dancing along with my tunes. By the way, I’m not a good dancer, I just bob and sway along. It’s been relieving to say the least and it’s making deep cleaning much more enjoyable.

So, when life gets heavy or you’re faced with an unbearable task, give yourself a moment to dance. Or dance through it. Sometimes you even have to force yourself. I am not a morning person. So when I get in at 6 am to deep clean, I’m not in the best of moods, but I’ve been trying to find the right song lately to change that. Something I can dance along to and help myself get in a better mood. I heard recently that forcing yourself to smile when you’re in a sour mood, helps you get to a better one. The muscles it takes to smile end up releasing something in your brain to lighten your attitude–I’m fully sure of the science behind it. Isn’t it nice to know there’s a way to trick yourself into a better mood? It does wonders for you and everyone around you.

So, I dare you today to pull yourself up on your feet, give a smile, and dance. You don’t have to be good at it. Just let your body loosen and let the stress go through tapping feet, head bobs, or hip sways. It’s helping me. I thought I’d share it to maybe help you too. We all need some escape when the world gets heavy.

On that note, if you have a story or a comment about dancing in public or to relieve the stress, feel free to share it in the comments below or on my Facebook and Twitter! Thanks everyone!

Let Me Go

I know when I’m not wanted.
I know when I’m in the way.
I know when my value is stolen away.

Have your fun.
Have your win.
Let me have a fresh chance to begin.

Something new
and away from you.
Away from the drama that you all brew.

My business is my own.
Not for those I can’t trust.
So let me go without a fuss.

I’m clearly the problem,
so I’ll step away.
It’s too bad you wouldn’t be able to handle what I’d say.

What I’d say about you.
If you want the truth.
I’d say what you do and I do have proof.

Yet, I’ll just walk out.
What good would it do?
You’ve made up your mind
and I have too.

You can’t be trusted
and I won’t be heard.
You’ve stolen the field like a horde of black birds.

Let me walk out quietly.
Let me take my peace.
Everything’s left for you to receive.

May you achieve all your dreams
without all your schemes.

May you focus on others
instead of ambitions,
but I know, for you,
that’s a tough mission.

May you grow and learn and lead with pride
and toughen up your tender hide.

That’s all I’ll say.
You couldn’t handle more.
And I’ll see myself right out the door.

I’ll go quietly and without a fuss.
Just know that you and yours have lost my trust.

Magic Soap

I have magic soap that washes tears away. One swipe and rivers cease and dawn will break to a joyful morning. My magic soap eases your fears. It frees your lungs to take a big breath of air. The reason behind the pain is put at a distance so you can see the big picture, the beauty you hindered. My magic soap makes things right and dries all your tears throughout the night. It welcomes the settling of peace and allows you to drift to sleep. Just one drop and 100 tears go away. One drop keeps the darkness at bay. My magic soap allows you to feel. It’s a shame, though, that it isn’t real.

A Day at the Zoo

This past week, I got the wonderful opportunity to take myself to my local zoo. It was definitely a much needed time away and people watching is always a blast. The day I went was actually the nicest day weather wise. Many moms took their children and the zoo was busier than I expected. I’m glad they were getting a lot of local support.

There’s a lot of controversy when it comes to zoos. A lot of people don’t like the animals in cages or the enclosures really need work. I, for one, support zoos. I used to work at one. I saw how deeply the keepers care for their animals. Yes, the zoo I worked at had enclosures that were screaming for help, but the keepers do their best to make improvements and every time you go to a zoo, pay for a ticket, buy food, or ride the tram, you’re helping to improve those enclosures and make the zoo a better place for the animals.

During my day at the zoo, I made a lot of observations about animals and people alike. My local zoo has a lot of signs talking about the animals: species, diet, origin, habitat, and more. They even have signs dedicated to conservation telling how many are left in the wild, where they are on the endangered list, what’s being done to help them, and what visitors could do to help them. I stopped and read a lot of the different signs. I don’t remember what all of them said, but I remember being heartbroken when I realized that most of the species I looked at were critically endangered. Efforts are being done to save them, but if you have a favorite species, I recommend contributing how you can.

One observation I had at the zoo this week was how little people read the signs my zoo had in place. There were families who passed by entire exhibits and animals without taking a glance. Families take their kids to the zoo for a learning experience, but from what I saw, people were only there to look and pass by. An “okay, we saw it. Now, let’s move on.” Yeah. A lot of zoos have a lot of ground to cover and you can’t appreciate all the animals in one day, but if you slow down and take the time to learn about what you’re seeing, you gain a new appreciation for for the wonders of the world. Taking a day to learn about a few animals makes them easier to remember. Then, you can go the next day to learn about more. I didn’t make it to every area of my zoo this week. I ended up picking out my favorite animals and hitting up the keeper chats about them. I thought I knew a lot my favorite species, but from those chats I learned a lot more.

I wish I could properly write everything that I learned. I wish I could print out this fantastic article that teaches you all about the different species at the zoo, but what better way to learn about the zoo than by going yourself? Hit up the keepers. They LOVE talking about their animals. Learn the names of the animals alongside their species. As questions deeper than just the typical: What’s its species? What does it eat? Where does it live? Ask about that animal’s story. Where was it born? What are the plans for it? Is it retired or is it still a part of a breeding program? What’s its favorite enrichment? Does it mimic any behaviors that its cousins in the wild perform? Pick your favorite species and get to know the animal alongside the species. You can read textbooks and know everything there is to know about a species, but that doesn’t compare to knowing the individual. That’s definitely one of my favorite things about animals. Each one has its own personality, likes, and dislikes just like people do.

I may not be able to convince you to go support your local zoo, but I can share some fun facts that I learned during my day at the zoo. I’ll end this cute little article with them:

Fun Facts from the Zoo

The cheetah featured in this post is named Rhaegal. He’s seven years old and has a brother named Viserion. They’re waiting to be selected to breed with cheetahs across the nation.
Cheetahs are my favorite animals and I could fill up the fun facts with awesome facts about them, but I won’t. By the way, they can jump from 0 mph to 40 mph in a few seconds. Their top speed can reach up to 70 miles an hour.
With COVID going on, primate keepers had to limit their contact with the monkeys and apes they cared for. The chimpanzee keepers at my zoo are just now starting to be able to train them again; however, they have to be fully vaccinated, wear the latest masks, and wear face shields.
The Amur Leopard is the rarest leopard in the world. It originates from Russia and there are only about 80 of them left.
All zoos across the nation work together to care for different species. The Species Survival Plan helps to coordinate which animal breeding pairs would benefit the future of a species. The plan does not pull animals from the wild as they don’t know that animal’s history.
The Scimitar Horned Oryx was actually extinct in the wild. However, zoo breeding programs were able to rebuild the population in captivity. A reservation in Africa was set up and some oryxes (all tagged with trackers) were released onto it. The population is slowly growing and becoming sustainable.
Lions can go weeks without eating in the wild. As long as they gorge on a kill every once in a while, they’re good.
Male lions only live to about 12 years in the wild. The manes they grow are based on their testosterone levels. The higher their testosterone, the thicker their mane. The mane acts like armor around their necks. Young lions in their prime will have thicker manes and fight older lions with thinning manes for control of their prides. The male lion serves as the protector of the pride with his much larger frame while the slimmer, lighter females do all the hunting. A male lion on his own will have about a 5% success rate while hunting. Some older, male lions will form coalitions in order to lengthen their survival.
Chimpanzees are endangered due to habitat loss. The area in Africa in which they live is rich with a metal used in cell phones. Their habitats are being destroyed due to humans mining for that metal. You can help save the chimpanzees’ habitat by recycling your old cell phones. You can drop them off at your local zoo or return them to the store.
Animals that pass away in zoos are studied for caused of death. Stem cells are collected from them for the future of the species.

Weight of Worry

Do you ever find yourself facing a decision, an event, or an answer that you don’t want to come? You know things will change after it happens and you can’t decide which would be for the better. What if you make the wrong decision? What if that event doesn’t go the way you hope? What if the answer is “No” or even “Yes?” With all the variables involved, you can’t decide which is the best way or if this is even what you want. And when it comes down to it, you find yourself questioning: “How did I end up here?”

Life is full of unexpected twists and turns. Sometimes, growing up, you’re led to believe that you’re going to be prosperous. You’re born in a higher class, you end up staying in that higher class, but if you aren’t…well, you struggle. So, when that decision, event, or answer you don’t want to face comes around, you start having that conversation with the one you swore you’d never talk to again: comparison.

Isn’t it funny how in the midst of your dilemma, everyone else’s victories just seem brighter? They got a new job with a NICE pay raise. That guy moved out. Those two got married. All these different couples are having babies. Life is moving on. On the up and up! And then, there’s you.

You’re stressing over something that, in the grand scheme of things, isn’t a big deal.

“Who of you, by worrying can add a single day to your life?” ~ Luke 12:25

Regardless if you’re religious, a Christian, an atheist or not, would you mind taking a look at the verse again? Worrying can’t add a day to life. In fact, there are studies out there that say worrying and stress can decrease it. You can’t control what happens tomorrow. In fact, all you have is today. You could go to bed at night and not wake up tomorrow (I don’t mean to scare anyone). So, when you find that decision, event, or answer looming over you, reminding you that week is going to be hard just because it’s a week of change. You don’t know how things will work out. I hope you’ll remember you’re in today. When life gets uncertain, all you can do is take it a day at a time.

Allow me to be honest. I’m not where I thought I would be. If you asked the me from ten years ago, they would tell you I’d be somewhere completely different. They’d probably be disappointed in me if you told them where I’m at now and that’s okay. Life doesn’t go the way you expect it. Sometimes expectations and dreams have to take the sideroads instead of the highway, but you still get there. I may not know where I’m going anymore, but there’s no use worrying about it. Sometimes, you just have to take things one day at a time. You wait and see what doors open and while you’re waiting, you do good work: help others, show kindness, and don’t let the bitterness or disappointment weigh you down. Have faith that things will work out in the end.

Whatever decision, event, or answer you face this week, I hope you don’t stress over it. Strive for it. Do your best to get the outcome you desire, but don’t obsess over it. All the thoughts toward it in the world aren’t going to add a day to your life, so if you’ve done all you can do toward it, focus your thoughts on what’s really important: family, friends, and life itself. If you take a step back and see your situation in the grand scheme of things, I think you’ll find its not as big a mountain as you’ve made it to be. No matter the outcome of your week, I know you’ll be okay. We both will.

25 “Therefore I tell you, do not worry about your life, what you will eat or drink; or about your body, what you will wear. Is not life more than food, and the body more than clothes? 26 Look at the birds of the air; they do not sow or reap or store away in barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not much more valuable than they? 27 Can any one of you by worrying add a single hour to your life? 28 “And why do you worry about clothes? See how the flowers of the field grow. They do not labor or spin. 29 Yet I tell you that not even Solomon in all his splendor was dressed like one of these. 30 If that is how God clothes the grass of the field, which is here today and tomorrow is thrown into the fire, will he not much more clothe you—you of little faith? 31 So do not worry, saying, ‘What shall we eat?’ or ‘What shall we drink?’ or ‘What shall we wear?’ 32 For the pagans run after all these things, and your heavenly Father knows that you need them. 33 But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well. 34 Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own.

~Matthew 6:25-34

Writing Prompt: A Fairy Tale in a Faraway Land

Include the following in your story: dragon, strike, collection, guess, joke, smirk, twist, upstage, wreck, beaver

Night was setting in the village of Tree Garden and Willowtrix feared he was going to be late. He flew through the twist of trees that made the village, acorn lamps lit the branching roads. Willowtrix’s destination was Alderwood’s hollow and the thickest tree in the village. The old fairy often told his stories at sunset and Willowtrix loved every one. Most fairies thought Alderwood’s stories were a joke. They strike with degrading words and scorn Alderwood’s imaginative collection. Willowtrix liked to guess that the others were just jealous. No one told stories better than Alderwood and Willowtrix wanted to be just like him.

Willowtrix couldn’t stop the smirk on his face when he landed at Alderwood’s hollow. Fairies of all colors were gathered to hear tonight’s story. Willowtrix was thankful Alderwood hadn’t started yet, but his brown skin flushed when he realized it was mostly children years younger than him gathered about the front.

“I hope tonight’s story has a dragon in it!” Willowtrix over heard a couple children speaking. “One to wreck a castle!”

“I hope it’s about a princess!” A little girl swooned. “One who gets swept away by a romantic prince!”

Willowtrix chuckled to himself as he found a seat inside the hollow. Whatever the story was about tonight, he knew it would be good!

“Glad you can make it.” The older fairy Willowtrix sat next to smile at him. It was Lakelight. She always brought her son to hear the stories. “I think Alderwood hasn’t started yet because he was waiting for you.”

“I’m honored.” Willowtrix smiled, but he didn’t say anymore as the lights focused on stage at the far end of the hollow. Alderwood slowly walked forward, his wings hanging down with age. When he stepped up to his podium, he quietly scanned the room and Willowtrix swelled when Alderwood’s gaze rested upon him. The old fairy smiled and cleared his throat. “Once upon a time, there was a beaver…”

Big Man Bane

As many of you know, I work at an animal shelter. It is my pleasure to care for dogs until the day they find their forever families or the day they cross the rainbow bridge. My shelter has adoptions six days a week. Which means we go through a lot of dogs. So much so that our canine care techs don’t know every single one–and that’s not a bad thing! If a dog goes home to their forever family, then we know they’re in good hands and we don’t have to worry about them. We can keep our focus on the dogs that take longer to get out than others.

One of those dogs in our care was my big man: Bane. Bane is a 7 year old, black Labrador retriever/husky mix (at least that’s what our admissions team decided he is). I don’t know all of Bane’s story. He arrived at my shelter in December 2021, but our records indicate this isn’t his first time here. Back in 2016, Bane was caught as a stray and brought to us. No one claimed him, so he became available for adoption and he got adopted within a month–which is a pretty big thing for a big man like him. The sad part of his story is that he came back. Like I said, Bane arrived in December of last year. He came to us on a transfer from a different shelter, so that begs the question of was he surrendered there by his old family? Had he escaped and found as a stray? The truth is: I don’t know. None of us know. There’s no way to know what Bane’s life was like before he arrived at the shelter.

But, I can tell what his life was like at the shelter.

Like all our dogs, Bane was behaviorally and medically evaluated before being made available for adoption. He got added to our walking list and put on the adoption floor so he could be seen by the public. He did have one adoption meet and greet in December, but the family decided he was too big. Yeah. Bane’s a big guy. Which meant, he filled quite a bit of space in our kennels. A big dog in a small space like that for long periods of time leads to high stress levels. It got to the point where he was hypersalivating and barking at our volunteers when they tried to take him out for walks. We tried putting him our biggest suite to see if that would help him, but all the activity that happens around that suite also had him on edge.

I, personally, never had many issues whenever I took Bane out for a walk. He had an easy walk harness and (with me) he learned that he couldn’t leave the kennel without it on, so he let me slip it on him without issue. Once on, he’d bark until I opened the kennel door. Going through the shelter was Bane’s biggest problem. He doesn’t have the greatest dog skills and all the barking dogs in the shelter would hype him up. He wanted to meet every single one and he’d lunge at each kennel just to try. Getting him through the shelter was like fighting a runaway lawnmower, but once he was outside, he was great! Pulled a little, but was great!

Now, our volunteers weren’t always up for dealing with Bane’s antics and since I’m one of the more physically stronger members of my team, I ended up taking him out a lot. We had a bit of a rocky start to our relationship with all of his antics, but he became my number one dog at the shelter.

Shelter stress was still getting to Bane, though. A normal kennel was too small for him and our biggest suite made him too high-strung, so he ended up getting moved off the adoption floor and into one of the smaller suites in our holding area. The behavior team made that decision after Bane started making volunteers feel uncomfortable. Bane wasn’t letting volunteers harness him. The behavior team and I went back and forth about him. He was made “staff only” and since he was most comfortable with me, I walked him the most to ensure no incidents happened. I also decided to make him work harder for treats during our training sessions.

Eventually, Bane got to the point where volunteers could walk him again and he was enrolled with a staff member in our training course (unfortunately, no. I was not the staff member)! Things were looking up for him! He liked his small suite in our holding area. We could sheet him so he didn’t get stressed by all the people and dogs going by and he was getting out of his kennel a little more with his training. I thought things were going well. I got my hopes up too soon.

To my great misfortune, Bane had an incident. One of our vet techs needed to give him multi, a flea and tick deterrent. It’s supposed to go right between his shoulder blades. The vet tech didn’t feel comfortable giving it to him, so they asked me to do it. Bane let me in the kennel just fine and happily took treats from my hand. I showed him the multi since I know how he is with new things–he doesn’t like what he doesn’t understand and he certainly didn’t understand what that multi was. Every time I’d try to give it to him, he would back away. He’d still come for treats and hotdogs and I made sure not to go over his head with the multi, but he wanted nothing to do with it. Eventually, he did snarl at the multi and I took the hint, gave him the rest of my hotdogs, and left the kennel without getting the multi on him. I wasn’t going to tell our behavior team, but the vet tech did, so Bane became a behavior team only dog.

I’ll admit it. When they asked me to hang “BE ONLY” (Behavior evaluators only) signs on his kennel, I burst into tears. I’ve had so many dogs at the shelter that I’ve worked with and fallen in love with get euthanized some time after those “BE ONLY” signs got put up. Lucky, Yodel, Indiana Bones, Dusk, and more. Losing them kept me from wanting to get close to another shelter dog. I always seem to attach to the trouble children that make bad choices or lose the battle against shelter stress and they end up getting euthanized. Bane and I had a rocky start to our relationship because I didn’t want to get close to him. I didn’t want my heart broken again. Yet, Bane got his way and I fell in love with him. If it weren’t for the animals I have at home, I probably would’ve adopted him. So, when I was told to hang those “BE ONLY” signs on Bane’s kennel, I feared that it was only a matter of time before he crossed the rainbow too.

The incident with the multi happened on my Friday. Throughout the weekend, I was expecting to come back to an email that Bane was unadoptable and therefore getting euthanized. Yet, to my sweet relief, he was made available again and anyone could walk him. I even overheard a conversation of a behavior member speaking to the coworker who had Bane in the training class. They were asking if that coworker still felt comfortable taking Bane to class after what happened and I can’t describe how relieved I was to hear that coworker still wanted Bane in class. Later that day, behavior sought me out to inform me that Bane passed all the tests that they did. Like I figured, it was just the multi that he didn’t like with the incident. Bane passed their food test with flying colors, he was even afraid of the fake hand they used for it. The only thing behavior saw wrong with him was that he was a little headshy, which meant they where taking away his harness–I was okay with that. Bane loves hugs, but not from people he doesn’t know.

With Bane made available again, I kicked his training into overdrive and pushed the different departments to make him noticeable to the public. I didn’t want him to be another victim of shelter stress. So, on nice days, I took him to our agility park. I let him run around off leash and played fetch with him so he could burn off the energy that the shelter stifled inside of him. He’s a glutton for treats and, using that against him, I taught him to speak, loose-leash walk, got him to work our A-frame, jump the three different hoops in the park, and roll over (he already knew sit, shake, and laydown before he arrived at our shelter)! I was getting with my team to get a video together of him doing all his tricks so we could show him off to the world and hopefully get him adopted!

Then winter came back.

We got hit with below freezing temperatures and knee-high drifts of snow. The dogs can only be out for about five minutes a walk in weather like that. Bane and I didn’t get to the agility park. I’d take him out to pee and I’d take him back inside. The team did our best to give the dogs lasting enrichment in those days, but there’s only so much that can be done that will take a long time and not make them fat.

Then we got a huge transfer of animals. 95 animals, both cats and dogs (but 80% dogs), arrived at our shelter. I ended up working a ten hour day last Friday to help with it. Working those ten hours put me over for the week. Since I work at a nonprofit, they frown on people for getting overtime. Being over for the week meant I had to leave early on Saturday. It wasn’t the best Saturday. I was tired, grumpy, and deep cleaning got on my nerves (again). I’m thankful for my coworkers being patient with me. That morning, I cleaned out Bane’s suite, gave him all fresh toys and blankets and a new bed. Then, I sat with him a little bit. Like I said, he loves hugs if he knows you and I was hugging and squeezing my big man because that was the cure I needed that grumpy morning. I made him run through his tricks before I tossed him all my treats and left. I thought I would see him again.

I had nothing on my mind except for a shower and a nap when I left that day. Yet, I arrived home to text messages from my coworkers stating that Bane had a meet and greet. He’s only ever had one since he came back to the shelter. Being a big, old, black lab mix on the holding floor doesn’t bode well for dogs. I’m not sure how the couple found out about him. Maybe they saw him as the featured dog for the week? When I heard he had a meet and greet, I watched the meet and greet log like a hawk. It took a long time–which was good. It meant the adoption counselor was being thorough and the family was taking the time to get to know Bane. I prayed. I held my breath. I breathe out again. I paced. I did the whole works! This was my big man’s big chance! I didn’t know anything about the family, but I did know that there was hope. Bane could get out of the shelter and live in a home. This was his chance to slip through the fingers of death and live the rest of his life happy! I wanted it so badly for him!

And, you know what? The log turned green. Bane got adopted.

I cried like a baby. My coworkers were texting me. Everyone was so excited! Yet, I couldn’t respond because of all the waterworks. I’m so happy for Bane! He’s gonna live his best life! But, it hurts that I never got to say goodbye.

I was informed that Bane was adopted to a couple who roughly appeared to be in their 50s. The couple had taken in strays before and they were used to dogs who took a little bit to open up. Then, I found out that they also have three acres of land. He essentially going to the perfect home. I have faith to believe that this time the adoption will stick. He won’t get returned somewhere else and then brought to our shelter. He won’t be so stressed that he hurts someone and there’s no other dog in the home for him to misunderstand. He’ll be happy! And knowing that makes all my hard work worth it.

Bane may never jump hoops or run an A-frame again, but I did my part. I helped him survive shelter life until that perfect family showed up. Shelters do that for a lot of dogs. We get thousands of adoptions a year. Yet, every shelter worker can tell you about their favorite dogs. The ones they worked with. The ones they cared for and gave their hearts too. Bane is one of those dogs for me and as much as I’m gonna miss him. I don’t ever want him to come back.

Proud of you, Bane. You’re my best boy!